His head juts forward. “Sorry? Please tell me I didn’t hear you right.”
“You heard me.”
“No.” Daniel shakes his head. “I didn’t hear you right. I didn’t hear the woman I’m going to marry imply that she has no intention of fighting this. Becausethatwoman’s mother died of cancer.Thatwoman watched my father die of cancer.Thatwoman held her best friend’s hand while she battled breast cancer for three years. And you never once told my father or Sylvie that they shouldn’t have the treatment. Hell, you even took Sylvie to the hospital for her surgery. You took her to her chemo and radiation appointments. You cried over her grave, saying there should have been more we could have done for her!”
“I don’t believe in cut, poison, burn,” I whisper.
“Cut. Poison. Burn?”
I nod.
Daniel laughs—the painful, condescending kind of laugh. “You don’t believe in modern cancer treatment?”
My name is Scarlet Stone. I have 70,000 thoughts a day and they are mine. My human right. I will not be ashamed of having an opinion.
I shake my head.
His jaw drops. We’ve discussed almost everything over the years but never this. The look in his eyes is one of complete confusion, like he doesn’t recognize me.
“You have to make me understand, Scarlet, because I don’t.”
I wince, feeling ripped apart by his endless head shaking. I feel like his nightmare, one that he can bring himself out of if he shakes his head enough.
“It’s just my opinion.”
“Well, it’s wrong—completely fucked-up!”
Drawing in a deep breath, I fight for control. He’s hurt and the devastation he’s feeling is what’s coming out in his angry words. It’s not his fault.
“I would never tell you what to believe, Daniel, so please don’t tell me that my opinion is wrong. We should be allowed a few basic human rights in life: the right to decide what goes into our bodies and the right to have an opinion without feeling shamed for it.”
“Where was this ‘opinion’ when my father battled cancer or when Sylvie was dying before your eyes?”
“It was their lives, their opinions, their decisions. Not mine. They never asked my opinion.”
His sinister laugh cuts through the air again and gouges my heart. I never wanted to have this discussion with him oranyone. I wanted to take my very unpopular opinion to the grave with me.
“If you don’t do this, you’re going to die.” He grips my shoulders, his face a breath away from mine.
His reaction is fueled by pain and fear. My brain knows this but it still triggers something defensive inside of me. I yank myself out of his hold. My skin heats with anger, and I don’t want to say something I will regret, but I can’t stop the words. I feel pinned to the ground and my instinct to free myself overtakes every other emotion.
“My mum died. Your dad died. Sylvie died! Everyone is searching for the goddamn cure, but no one is searching for the cause. There is no money to be made in eliminating thecauseof cancer.”
“Scarlet, that’s not true.”
“It doesn’t have to be true! It’s just my own opinion. The cure isprevention. If we prevent cancer, then we don’t need a cure. But there’s no money in prevention. I’ve hacked into research databases, email, and financial records of the largest pharmaceutical companies. Cancer is no longer a disease, IT’S A FUCKING BUSINESS! And we buy it hook, line, and sinker. ‘Hurray! My cancer is gone.’ A year or two later—at best—I’m dead because the chemo and radiation obliterated my immune system, so the next time those cancer cells start to divide, they spread like wild fire because there are absolutely no defense mechanisms left. But… here’s the silver lining… the pharmaceutical companies make money with round two of cancer treatment as some last-ditch effort that they know won’t save me at this point. Instead, it leaves my family with false hope and two seconds later I’m dead!”
Shock. That’s all I see in Daniel’s lifeless expression. A toxic mix of regret and relief war somewhere between my head and my heart. I’ve shattered his hopes of changing my mind and forthat I feel terrible. At the same time, I feel liberated. Never, ever have I said those words aloud. For years I’ve watched people I love die, and I’ve always held my opinions to myself because they are not an answer for anyone but me. But now it’sme,and all I want is for the people who love me to respect my wishes without trying to change my mind or make me feel irresponsible or crazy.
“This is complete madness.” His voice becomes weaker with each word.
“I always go with my gut. If a thousand people are in queue for door A but my eye is drawn to door B with no queue, I choose door B. The most brilliant and innovative people throughout history have shunned the norm, questioned authority, charted new territory, and challenged beliefs that no one before them had ever dared to challenge.”
“Cut. Poison, Burn. Call it whatever you want, Scarlet. It’s your only option for staying alive.” He looks up.
“Those three years… Sylvie wasn’t living. She was dying, and it was a fucking miserable death sprinkled with a few moments of false hope.” I take in a deep breath, relishing each one that I have left in this life. “Go take a poll, Daniel. Ask every cancer survivor, if given the choice would they have chosen their ‘lifesaving’ treatment or to never have had cancer in the first place. It’s so messed-up. We are a corporate run world. Medicine is a business. Follow the money, Daniel. There isnocorporate incentive to prevent cancer or even find a true fucking cure!”
He blinks at me over and over. “Jesus, Scarlet, you’re jumping off a cliff without a parachute.” Daniel pulls me into his arms as all my fight is drained, leaving me with nothing but my sobbing emotions.
