“Thanks.” Raven went to get out her purse.
“Shhh, on the house.” Anne winked.
“You sure?” After how rude she’d been to Anne’s mom this morning, Raven didn’t think she deserved any favors. Would my business work? It might have more of a chance in Adelaide. Not for the first time this morning her thoughts turned back to the city life she was used to and comfortable with.
“Yes.” She moved her head to the door. “Go sit at your favorite seat, and I’ll bring it out to you. Boss is out, so this is the best time to do this. As you can see, it’s not a busy time.”
“Thank you.” Raven was very grateful. Buying a coffee every time she came to town was adding up. There was the local library she could go to, and the more she looked at her bank account, the more she began to think that was going to be the only option, that or not even coming into town. For now, she had to go into town to see that there were other people living on the earth. And today, she was getting a coffee. It was lucky for her that this one was going to be ‘on the house.’
Raven went outside, sat at her favorite table—the one second from the end—facing along the main street toward the farm, and got out her laptop. Another good thing coming to Bean was the internet connection was a lot better than on the farm. She set up her laptop and began opening a design to work on while she waited for her coffee. It was hard to concentrate. Her mind was a beehive of thoughts that were going nowhere. Could she live on a farm? Not see Ben as much as she’d want? And then, could she live in the same house as his mom? It had been a little weird at first, then Raven had gotten over that feeling, and now she was just plain frustrated.
At least Anne had the right idea of living in town. She’d managed to scrape together a deposit, bought a small house, and was living there with her boyfriend, Kane, who was the local mechanic.
That’s what I need—my own space.
Raven looked around her and realized the irony of the thought. There was more than enough space out here.
Perhaps that was the real issue, she mused.
“Here you go.” Anne set a large mug of coffee to the side of Raven’s laptop.
“Thanks.”
Anne sat on the opposite chair, crossed her tanned legs, her dirty work boots looking out of place for someone who was a waitress. She held her coffee chest height and looked directly at Raven.
“You work too hard, you know,” Anne blurted out.
“I’m starting my own business. I have to,” Raven shot back. She didn’t mean to be so sharp with her response.
“It’s nearly Christmas, give it a break.”
“This is a time when I can get ahead.”
“Is it working?” Raven rolled her lips together. Anne was touching a raw nerve. “I didn’t think so.”
“Hey, I hadn’t answered.”
“You didn’t need to. Your silence spoke loudly.”
“If I keep at it, I’ll get there. I have to keep working.” That’s the last thing that she wanted to do. What would she do with all the extra time she’d have? It wasn’t as if Ben were around. And she was hopeless on the farm. She had no idea what needed to be done, so she couldn’t even help out. She did know how to collect the eggs, but then his mom usually had the job done before she remembered to go out herself. She felt useless, like a burden.
“Who knows, you might get a burst of creativity after a break. Christmas is a good time for that. So why don’t you shut down your laptop?”
Something cracked inside of Raven, and the words she was too scared to speak tumbled out. “What the hell would I do then? It’s not like I have friends to hang with, and I don’t know what to do on the farm, so I’m useless there, and well, your mom has everything sorted in the kitchen.”
“I’m your friend, so you’re wrong there.” Her tone was gentle as she spoke.
“That’s not what I meant.” Raven could feel the emotion boiling inside of her.
Anne’s eyes soften. “I’m sure Mom wouldn’t mind if you cooked a meal now and then.”
“It’s her kitchen.” Raven realized that even if things did work out with Ben, it would always be Janette’s kitchen, her home. Never hers. Her eyes filled with tears, and she blinked quickly willing them to go away and not spill out to show how she was really feeling. She didn’t want to offend Anne or her family, but fuck, it was all getting too much, and she was beginning to feel like she was about to spiral out of control.
Anne leaned forward and put her hand on Raven’s bare arm. “It is, but she’ll let you use it, sometimes, and that’s all that matters. She might not let on, but she would also enjoy the night off occasionally. You just need to be prepared for that.”
A lump formed in Raven’s throat, and she couldn’t speak. For the first time, she was beginning to see a different perspective of her situation.
“It’s not ideal now, but come the new year when harvest and the Christmas crazy rush is over, why not join a club or two?”
