Lyla wanted to take care of me.Me.
The madness took a firmer hold on my heart.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - Lyla
Something settled into me like the filling of a pumpkin pie. Warm, heavy, and comforting. It grew as we ate dinner together, joking and laughing with one another, and it cooked as I sat on the couch under a blanket with Jason and Ozzi watching Christmas movies.
My heat pains still throbbed with a regular rhythm, like festive lo-fi music, but they didn’t twist my insides with sharp pains. It was as if this cuddle time was something my Omega body needed too.
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacationplayed on the TV. It was Jason’s pick. We’d already watchedIt’s a Wonderful Life, which was Ozzi’s choice. I saved mine until last because they had never heard of it.Small Town Omega and Big City Scrooge. An Alpha from the big city comes to a pretty little town to visit his mom on the holidays, and while he starts as all humbug, the jolly Omega melts his heart and they fall in love. It hit all my favorite holiday tropes with amazing Christmas wardrobes.
The big fir tree in the living room twinkled with lights and a small train ran on a circular track around the base. We had already demolished the cookies and dipped into the rum soaked fruitcake. It paired perfectly with the hot toddies.
Laughter surrounded me. We’d turned off the big lights so there were only candles and blinking multi-colored strings lighting the room. I kept glancing back and forth between Ozzi and Jason. Each of them were relaxed, warm, and oh my God, did they smell so good.
Neither of them were audibly purring, but it was as if I could feel a quantum purr with the three of us together like this. Seeing them happy was making me happy. This was at once afeeling I wanted to last forever and something that scared the crap out of me.
I could imagine every holiday season like this. Hell, every night. Neither of them were Scrooges, so I didn’t have to convert them to lovers of Christmas, but something had melted within Ozzi. Before he would keep his distance and try not to be in arm’s reach, but now his arm rested on the couch behind me and our heads leaned close together.
Jason had one of my legs resting on his thigh and his hand sitting on my knee. I worried he might be overly possessive, but he seemed to be fine with any affection I shared with Ozzi or Ozzi shared with me. In fact, his grin had only grown wider over the evening.
Or it could just be the effects of the alcohol.
They would have to spend the night, and while there were enough beds in the house for all of us, I didn’t want anyone to leave the room. I could bring a ton of blankets and pillows here, and we could have a sleepover in front of the Christmas tree. We’d get more snacks and drinks, and spend all night snuggled together…
What was I thinking about these things for? While I was happy to have help with my heat and for the company while I was home alone, I was an idiot for fantasizing about this being my life. I might not lose myself at first, but slowly over time, my life would become whatever they wanted me to be to support them. Did my mom ever imagine she’d spend a whole night polishing medals and buttons? She was on her way to becoming a famous singer. I was lucky if I heard her singing while she cleaned up the messes her mates left.
How could someone give up their passion? If I didn’t create and sell my clothes, I wouldn’t be me. I didn’t have the time to be a house maid to a pair of Alphas. I refused to lose myself even in the name of love.
“Lyla?” Jason gave my knee a gentle squeeze.
I blinked, shaking myself free from my thoughts. “Hm?”
“You missed the cat getting zapped by the tree lights. What’s going on in your pretty little head?”
Pretty little head? Was he being condescending? There was nothing small that ever went on in my mind.
I wiggled out from between the two of them, and my body immediately felt the absence of theirs around me. While I wanted to be pissed at that, it doubled down with a sudden punch to the gut with a heat pang. My Omega hormones were traitors. Traitors!
Jason and Ozzi sat up, straightening in unison. Their eyes dilated and their nostrils flared.
“Alphas!” I snarled and started to storm out of the room. No. No, this was my home. I wasn’t going to be chased out of anywhere. I pointed at both the kitchen and the front door. “Go! Leave me alone!”
“Lyla,” Jason crooned my name and stood, holding his arms out to me. “Let us take care of you.”
“No!” I wrapped my arms around my body as another crushing wave of pain made me cry out. I stomped my foot at both the pain and Jason who stepped toward me. “No! Omegas always end up taking care of Alphas. It’s bullshit! I’m not giving up my life for anyone. I love my life. I love making clothes. And I love Christmas! I want my Christmases to be perfect, and now I have to deal with my stupid heat and Miss Eloise and Mariska aren’t here and everything hurts so bad!”
“Calm down, baby.” Jason dared to take another step toward me. He dared!
“Don’t calm down baby me!” I wanted to run screeching from the room and jump his bones at the same time.
“Lyla, breathe.” Ozzi hadn’t moved any closer, but he was trying to be quietly bossy. It wasn’t going to work. My breathscame in great gulps. “Jason has been helping you with your heat. Have you been knotted?”
What? Jason didn’t brag to his bestie about what we did? I thought for certain guys talked about those kinds of things. “No.”
Jason and Ozzi exchanged a look. It was one of those things where they were reading each other’s minds. They were so in sync, they could make a plan without any words. I hated it and loved it and, oh my fucking God! Why were my emotions a screaming mess?
“Your heat has gotten to the point where only a knot will help.” Ozzi explained in his infuriatingly calm sexy voice. “It satisfies a part of the Omega biology that nothing else can do.”
