“Hot chocolate.” He reaches over, his arms now around me as he uses both hands to open it. “I asked for it before I came up the steps.”
I want out of this grip, because the way he feels warm and comfortable makes me start to question who I really am… Since when do I enjoy Judge’s physical presence and he’snotgrowling or purring?
“You can drink it, or be stubborn. Up to you.”
“What areyouup to?” I ask, turning it back on him.
“Drink the hot chocolate, and I’ll tell you where Selene is.”
My blood runs cold, but it helps. It removes any semblance of enjoying him. “Romantic,” I chide, grabbing the thermos and bringing it to my nose, breathing in the milky chocolate goodness. It doesn’t smell as good as usual, but it’s still warm. And I’m cold.
“You’re the one forcing me to be dramatic.”
I sip the hot chocolate with the ghost of a smile on my face.Maybe it tastes different because they ran out of whatever they were using before. “What are they doing down there?”
“That’s a pre-Yule festival,” he says quietly.
“You celebrate Yule?” I know Christmas used to be a holiday before thebloom, although now it seems everyone has moved to calling it Yule. There’s not exactly a lot ofpresentsone can give out here, and all the magazines and books make Christmas look like it wasstacksof things. It’s still hard to wrap my head around the world being able to make so many items like that, and they just… gave them to others. I don’t know. It’s hard thinking like that when the one materialistic thing I had of my family is no longer here.
What’s the point ofstuffwithout the people?
“Of course we celebrate it. Gatherings like this, if you break apart social norms, are also a form of keeping people happy. It offers an outlet, and simple hope, when the nights are short and cold.”
“Iseverythingyou do for control?”
He pauses in his reply, almost as if he’s actually considering that. “Once you’re at my level of running things, you don’t get the liberty to justexist.”
I had every intention to mostly ignore whatever he said, but those words dust over my mind like there’s no wind to keep carrying them. I didn’t think about it as if he’s carrying weight, because then that means he cares. The possible humanization of him scares me, but it’s also an opening to try and weasel my way into his good side, so I can maybe get out of here, even if for a day. “Why did you take it on?” I gently ask.
I even twist back to look at him, hoping that maybe it can persuade him in the slightest. My heart races at this gentle proximity, at the way he towers over me and is the epitome of a warm, rough, attentive alpha in this very moment.
With his next blink, his gaze moves to me, and it nearlymakes my heart stop. It’s like I’m sitting next to a lion that I’m not convincedwouldn’teat me.
“Everyone else was terrible at it.” His lips are mesmerizing to watch them move while this close. “What’s one thing in this life you’ve wished for?” he asks.
I stupidly stare at him. “What?”
“Tell me.”
A part of me refuses to reveal the truth, and then the other loves that it’s an opportunity for drama. The survival side begs me not to waste this, because, whether I like it or not, Judge has forced himself into beingthebarrier to my freedom. “I used to wish for an alpha, actually,” I gently explain. “But I always knew it was a pointless dream. All alphas just want to fuck their omegas into submission. I could never trust one enough to let him in.”
I can’t read what he’s thinking, other than his expression is severely lacking in its typical intensity. “Do you want to know whatIwished for?” he asks, not taking my bait.
“No,” I say, turning my head around.
I know I’m supposed to be better at this, but the way he’s making my heart race like his words might actually mean something freaks me out.
He leans down into my ear, and my breath is shaky as I exhale through my nose. “I wanted an omega. Not to fuck into submission, but a person I knew I’d never have to worry if my back was turned to her.”
“You have an entire gang of people that you trust.”
“We trust each other, sure. But we all know we’re human. There’s nothing that rivals the trust an alpha and omega have.”
I don’t know why he’s doing this. It’s making him slightly interesting to me, and I hate it. “Where is Selene?” I ask, dreading the answer in case it’s not what I want to hear.
“I sent her back to the Enclave. A letter should be coming in the next few weeks from her.” Judge leans in one more time, hisbreath on my ear, a fluttery sensation flooding my navel as if I haven’t drooled on this man's cock before. “Answer me this next question, and we can go.”
“Yes, please.” It comes out more like a squeak. He really sent her back?
