Heat…
My insides feel hollow, like an empty barrel. My omega loneliness is heavy right now with the impending estrus, and maybethat’swhy I’m in such a funk. This morning, after my emotional outburst, the rain began to fall so heavily that, for a brief moment, I annoyingly found myself wishing I could give the small, faint purring of an omega so an alpha would lie in bed with me. Ensure my dwelling is in perfect shape for me to cook, or do my leather embroidery hobbies, to nest, and behappy.
I mean, nothere. But the sentiment is all the same. I don’t even have any of my embroidery things, which are sitting in my old living space like flowers on a grave. They didn’t even cross my mind when I was trying to leave.
No, these mood swings aren’t typical for me. At least, if theyare, it means my cyclical change is around the corner.
“I think, um,” I begin, glancing up at Selene. “I think my heat is approaching.”
“Oh, okay.” She looks surprised, like my words broke her train of thought. “Well, hey, get it done and over with so we can bail,” she says, lowering her voice at the end of her sentence. “You can try one of those blood panels, you know. Knowexactlywhen to take more suppressants and to hunker down.”
Trinity has a working lab system, something the Enclave never had. “No. Then there’s a record. I don’t want to be trackedat all.”
There’s also the caveat that when my mind gets too quiet, I worry about Judge. I didn’t consider what he would do if I succeeded, because… I didn’t freaking expect to get away with it. And won’t it be obvious that I went to Trinity? Where else am I going to go? There’s no way he’s going to let me go without punishment.
I bet he’ll make me bind to someone terrible.
Mate…
Okay, Selene is right. Get this fucking heat over with so we can get out of here.
Selene glances around before leaning in. I do the same. “Should we tell Mistress Evans?”
It’s so weird to call her that. Maggie just wanted to be called head surgeon or healer, whereas the female alpha running things here has a title complex. “I don’t like her,” I confess. “Probably just me being what I am, though. She doesn’t make me safe at all.”
“Yeah, she’s probably got a tight asshole.”
I nearly choke on my tea, laughing. “Wow.”
She grins. “Okay, but seriously… getting our ducks in a row. We’re still considering the Black Mirage after, right?”
I look down at the dark brown liquid in my cup. “Yeah. I should have at least a month or two between cycles. There’s no way Judge isn’t at least sending an enforcer to come snatch me up for what I did. And if I get rid of mystench, maybe dye my hair, and get some tattoos, he’ll never find me again. I’ll blend in like the rest.”
God, does that sound liberating.
Mourning my past this morning really feels like I’m ready to accept this new fate.
“Well, she told us when you have a heat, you can go to thatcabin she showed us. Let’s just keep an eye on you, and then go there when you feel ready.”
“That cabin creeps me out.”
She perks a brow. “That’s why I’m hanging out in that watch house. I don’t want you out there, alone.”
The cabin was something I didn’t like, and yet it’s all we got. It’s a small house with nesting materials removed from the hospital, and omegas can ride out their heat there. The area is covered in the vines that the suppressants are made from, so it’s a natural deterrent, and all within the thick, tall fencing of this compound. I’ll be given four times the dose to make this heat cycle extra quick. There’s a house nearby that someone can stay in to keep an eye on the place and help the omega.
It honestly feels like a trap. But four doses might mean I can burn through this in two days instead of four to six, and other omegas here have said they’ve used it more than once. Heat houses aren’t uncommon, either.
I’ll take that risk.
“By the way, did you notice that Judge had those weirdly pale eyes?” Selene asks.
“Yeah, I didn’t stare at them much, though.”
“I think it means he’s an echo.”
I roll my eyes. “Of course he is. All the more reason we need to be careful. Who knows what he’s capable of.”
“It’ll be okay. They would have been here by now if they were coming, I’d imagine.”
