“I mean, I don’t know him, but now that you point it out, I’d say he’s not the most jovial guy I’ve ever seen. Is he usually? Or is this his general demeanor?” Poppy asks while studying it.
“He’s usually happy-go-lucky—this is definitely not his normal MO. What if there’s more to the story? What if Rebecca’s holding something over his head, forcing him to marry her? What ifshe’spregnant? What if he’s being trapped?” I practically yell the last part.
“Whoa, Cici. Slow down a minute and climb out of the rabbit hole you just fell into. They may have had a spat or something. I’m certainly not team Rebecca, but I’d hate for you to get your hopes up over one picture. And why are you suddenly starting to sound like you want them not to be together? You still love him, don’t you?”
“I never said I loved him.”
“You didn’t have to.”
I inhale deeply as the tears start to form, and the truth I’ve been denying far too long starts tumbling out. “Yes, dammit. I still love him. And now that it’s too late, I’d die for a chance to be with him. It’s almost like as soon as it wasn’t an option, that’s when I decided I was ready. I’m such a cliché, only wanting what I can’t have.” I chuckle through my tears and shake my head.
“Or perhaps you just needed the option taken away to realize what you wanted. I’m worried about you, though. I don’t want you to set yourself up for disappointment.”
“Trust me, I’m not. And my goal isn’t to get him back. I’m just hoping that if I tell him in person, he won’t completely hate me for keeping it from him for so long. Plus, this way, I can tell my parents and brother while I’m there.”
“I’m pretty sure they’ll notice something before the words make it out of your mouth.” Poppy gestures to my belly. “Are you sure you don’t want to give them a heads-up or something so they don’t have a heart attack right when they open the door?”
“Nah. It’ll be fun to see the looks on their faces.” I laugh, imagining their reaction.
“That’s crazy. I can’t imagine not telling my family I was pregnant for six months.”
“I’ve had you, Matt, and Lily, so I didn’t need to. Speaking of Lily, I better tell her I’m coming. I’ll book a ticket for the week after next, even though it’s past my deadline. I’m sure she’ll just be relieved that I’m doing it.”
“Well, now that that’s decided, we better work out what you’ll say. Come on, bring him with you and let’s go practice.”
Only a few more days until I go home to drop the bombshell on everyone’s lap. I’m starting to get cold feet and seriously contemplating doing it by phone. If Lily and Poppy weren’t holding me accountable, I’d probably have already cancelled. On the phone today, after being filled in on their brunch this morning, which unsurprisingly didn’t end well, I’d simply made a single comment about not coming this week, and she was having none of it.
So I took advantage of my lazy day and packed a small suitcase for the trip. Other than that, I’ve been relaxing since it’s Sunday and I’ll have enough excitement in my life after everyone knows about the baby.
The pregnancy has been going well, but I think the stress of what I’m about to do has been disrupting my sleep, and I’ve been more tired than usual, which is adding to my anxiety. And because of that, I’m in the kitchen again, snacking like I’ve been doing all day.
I’m surfing the web while munching and looking for something to make for dinner tonight when my phone lights up with a call from Lily.
“Hey, Lils,” I say after bringing it to my ear.
Not even a second passes before her words come out frantic. “Eli got in an accident racing today. He’s in the hospital.”
“What? Is he okay?” My hand flies to my chest as my heart starts beating a thousand miles a minute.
“Not really…. He’s in a coma. They don’t know when he’ll wake up.”
“But he will, right? Wake up?”
“They can’t say for sure.”
“No.” I’m shaking my head while tears stream down as I quietly weep. “No, Lily. He has to be okay. He’s going to be a father.”
Her words are gentle. “I know you’ll be here Wednesday, but I thought you might want to come now.”
“Oh my God, I can’t even think straight. Of course I do. I’ll come tonight if I can. I’ll call right now to switch my ticket. I’ll keep you posted. Call if anything changes.”
“I will. Talk soon.”
I hang up, feeling like my world just caved in.
19
IT TAKES TWO
