“Christ, Eli. Give yourself some time to recover instead of jumping right in.”
“Time is a luxury I don’t have. You know that as well as I do.”
Two weeks later, after a rough day in the office, I pull the note from my pocket that I’ve memorized by now. It never fails to calm me down. Fuck, I really need to get a grip. Maybe it’s time for a night out like old times. Might as well begin my own hunt for a wife and have some fun while I’m at it. After texting Braden and Jackson, even though Jackson still won’t leave Mia’s side, I head into Sebastian’s office just down from mine.
“Hey, I’m headed to the club tonight. Since the agency hasn’t found any suitable candidates, I figure I’ll start searching for Mrs. Dubree myself.”
“You sure that’s the best place to do it?” The doubt is loud and clear.
“Don’t see why not. You can join us if you want. See the pro back in action.”
“I would, just to make sure you don’t do anything stupid, but Lily and I have plans. You’ve been off the market for a while now… sure you remember what you’re doing?”
“Dude, I don’t have to do anything. The ladies come to me,” I say, wiggling my brows.
Sebastian smiles and shakes his head. “Listen, I know how it feels to be rejected. It’s okay to lie low for a bit. But whatever you do, don’t forget I’m around if you want to talk.”
“Thanks, but I’m fine. The quicker I move on, the better. Otherwise, I’m just prolonging the inevitable. Have fun with Lily tonight.” I turn around to leave.
“Yeah, you too,” he says on my way out.
I’m planning to.
Here’s the thing… if you fall off your bike, you’ve got to hop right back on before it’s too late and fear creeps in to immobilize you. That’s what I need to do, go out with guns blazing, so this shit doesn’t bring me down. I don’t have time for wallowing. I don’t have time for regrets. And I certainly don’t have time to waste. It’s a new year, a new day, and soon, whether I want one or not, a new woman. I might as well jump right in since waiting won’t change a damn thing.
When I return to my office, a text from Braden confirming tonight and a missed call from Jackson are waiting.
Jackson picks up on the first ring. “Hey, man, I have to pass tonight. I’m not ready to leave Mia after getting her back.”
“Yeah, I figured. Not sure I would either.”
“Also, you haven’t brought it up, so I haven’t either, but I’m sorry about Cici. I always suspected, but seeing you at New Year’s confirmed it. She told me the bare minimum after I mentioned kicking your ass for hurting her, but it sounds like the opposite is true. I don’t have all the details, nor do I want them, but I feel bad for not warning you in advance. She’s not the relationship type, which frankly, I didn’t think you were either, but she takes shit next level. She never had a boyfriend in high school—not one—and it was the same in college. Not sure why, but it’s definitely a thing with her.”
“I’m aware. I picked up on it before she left but thought it was circumstantial with her relocation back then. Don’t worry, she made it loud and clear this time around.” It is nice to hear it confirmed from someone who’s known her their whole life. At least I know it was a lost cause and not something I failed at.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out. For the record, I would have approved. I’d offer to kick her ass for you, but (a) she’s my sister and (b) you’re a big boy, which I’m assuming is why you’re headed out tonight. Liquid therapy?”
“You got it. And possibly some physical therapy, too, because why the fuck not?” If I think it enough, maybe I can fool myself into wanting it.
“Whatever you need to do, man.”
“Thanks. Enjoy your woman. We’ll have to plan a night out with all of us soon. I’ll have Braden for a date.”
“Not likely. That guy always has a different woman on his arm. You better snag one before he runs through them all.”
“Fuck, no kidding. Better make haste. See ya, buddy.”
Contrary to my big talk, it’s not likely I’ll be jumping in the sack right away, but who’s to say I can’t take my mind off things with a willing woman on her knees? Hell, we’ve got plenty of those at the club. That’s why it was a weekly ritual for us back in the day. Then Mia came along, followed by Cici, so Braden had his pick of the crop. Well, I’mback. Time to prove I’ve still got what it takes and give him a run for his money. Because fuck it, if I’m getting engaged soon, I might as well go balls to the wall until then.
“You sure you’re ready for that, dude?” Braden asks when I tell him my idea for a little friendly competition. I’m unsure if it’s because it’s so soon after Cici or because I’ve been out of the game for so long, and I don’t ask, since it would emphasize the doubts already in existence. The more I suggest it, however, the more I’m convinced it’s the way to go. The two old-fashioneds I had before switching to beer could very well be aiding that thought process.
So my answer comes out confident. “More than ready.”
“That’s the attitude. Like they say, no better way to get over someone than under someone else.”
“Cheers to that.” I raise my bottle in salute, then swig it down.
Damn straight. My decision is cemented, and it’s time to act before I waver for the millionth time. Maybe incentivizing it will give me the encouragement I need.
