Eli’s voice cuts into my thoughts. “Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah. I’m okay now.”
“I’m glad. Did I do something to upset you?”
“No. I think it’s a combination of things. Everything from the last few months caught up to me at once. Sorry you had to bear witness.”
“I’m not. I’m only sorry I added to your pain. Why don’t youclose your eyes, let it all go, and we can deal with everything tomorrow.” He continues caressing my head while rubbing soothing circles on my back.
Closing my eyes sounds good. I yawn and follow his suggestion. “Thank you, Eli.”
He kisses the top of my head. “No. Thank you, Cici.”
11
PHYSICAL THERAPY
Eli
She’s gone. I feel it immediately. Still, my stomach drops when my eyes land on the empty space beside me, then the ring on the nightstand, which is sitting on top of another… fucking… note.
Eli,
I’m sorry for finishing what should never have started in the first place.
Please don’t hate me. You are such an amazing human and deserve better than someone who can’t give you more.
Don’t give up on finding love a second time. Then you’ll have youranswer.
Cici
Was there anything I could’ve done? Something more I should’ve said? Had I told her the truth, would she have said yes? Probably, but at what cost? It had to be her decision and her decision alone. Anything else would’ve been a thorn in our marriage. Fuck. I roll over onto my back, resting my arm over my head, not ready to face the day. Happy fucking New Year.
I have less than six months to find a woman, propose, and marry her. I have no idea what world I’m living in where marriage can still be forced upon someone in this day and age. Fuck my life.
Other than Cici, I can’t think of a single woman I would ever consider spending two years with. Yeah, I’ve had some great sex, but the women themselves, fuck no. And that leaves me two options: leave it to fate or contact a professional matchmaking service. Neither sounds appealing.
That I’m even thinking about this the day after the only woman I’ve ever wanted in life left me is a testament to how fucked up I am. The problem is, it’s all I can think about since discovering three weeks ago that I needed a wife, and now my one hope is gone. She flies out early this afternoon, so technically I could try one last time, but it would be a wasted effort. Her mind is made up for some illogical reason, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. That leaves me at square one, and a sudden desire to get fucked up.
Sadly, it’s nine in the morning, and drinking is not on the agenda this early, so I need an alternative for now—a brutal workout should do it. Before that, though, I need to get my sorry ass out of this room.
When I arrive home, the first thing I do is change after walking through my door, then head straight next door to Sebastian’s and my private gym between our penthouse condos. After entering my code to unlock the door, the sound of the treadmill fills the room. Of course, Sebastian is here.
In no mood to talk, I grab a towel and head straight to the bike, ignoring him completely. Setting the machine to the highest level, Iclose my eyes and hunch over, pushing my legs as hard as possible, getting into a zone.
Sebastian’s voice breaks my trance. “Dude, take it easy. You’re gonna wreck yourself.”
I lift my head and realize an hour has passed already. I’m dripping with sweat, creating a large puddle under the machine. I sit up to wipe my head while slowing down the pedals. “I’m fine. A little cardio never killed anyone.”
“Not so sure about that, especially at the pace you were going. Come do a few reps and tell me what happened. I figured you two leaving together was a good sign, but clearly not since you’re killing yourself on the bike,” Sebastian points out during a set of curls.
“Nothing to tell. She was gone when I woke up this morning and is flying home today.”
“I’m sorry, man. I still think you should have told her what was going on.”
I shake my head. “So she’d marry me out of pity? No thanks,” I scoff. “Look, it’s not like I couldn’t see this coming from a mile away. That I was delusional enough to think she’d change her mind is on me. It’s time for plan B. I’ll contact an agency this week to start searching for someone else.”
I have no choice.
