But duty calls. I step back and don't miss that his hands release me slowly, as if he might want to keep me there as much as I want to stay.
"Thank you," I manage to say and his lips curve slightly up, like he's attempting a smile.
"You're welcome." He looks down at the piles of gifts we've made and gives a firm nod. "Let's get to work."
8
LEO
I pull the snowmobile around in front of the cabin, the sled hitched securely to the back of it. Celeste and I work together to load the gifts onto the sled, then tie down a tarp over them all to keep them safe and dry as we ride. It's going to be a fast trip, no cookies and milk to be tasted along the way, but we can get it done.
One thing I didn't account for was how it would feel when Celeste slipped onto the seat behind me. She's dressed in her coat, still wearing my sweats, and I've made her agree to wear my extra winter gear - a thick winter cap and Arctic rated gloves to keep her hands warm. When she wraps her arms around my waist and leans her head against my back, my heart rate speeds up. It feels right, having her hold onto me like this. It feels perfect.
I gun the engine before I get any more distracted by the emotions this woman stirs in me, and we speed off into the night. I've memorized the list of places we need to stop at and have the route firmly in mind. The wind screams past us as wemove and I navigate around the trees, heading down the other side of the mountain toward our destination.
When we hit a bump, Celeste squeezes me a little harder, giving an excited squeal from her seat, and I smile in spite of myself. Even I can admit when I'm having fun. And this woman has given me that gift when I least expected it.
We glide through the silent night, the drone of the snow machine the only sound breaking through the darkness, and I feel the change in Celeste's grip when we break through the edge of the trees, the houses of the town spread out below us. Christmas lights decorate some of the buildings, and light our way as I guide us onto the snow covered street.
I navigate to the first house Celeste marked for a delivery. As I come to a stop, she slips off the seat and hurries to the sled. I join her there and lift the edge of the tarp, holding it up so she can pull free the bag of gifts for this family.
When she peers at the name marked on the bag, I flick on my flashlight, rewarded by her grateful smile as she confirms we have the right package. She makes her way onto the porch, the bag clasped tight to her chest and gives a series of three soft knocks. The front door cracks open, and a young woman's nervous face appears.
"You made it," I hear her say, and see her smile as she wipes tears away. "The boys will be so happy when they wake up."
"I told you I'd get here." Celeste hands the gifts over, and waves goodbye after accepting a quick hug. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas." The woman then spots me, standing sentinel beside the snow machine, and she offers me the same. "Merry Christmas."
The door closes and Celeste hurries back to me. There's no mistaking the joy in her eyes. We secure the tarp once more, then I help her onto the seat and we're off to the next house.
It's a long, cold night of deliveries, but I don't really feel the chill. The happiness of Celeste, the relief and cheer we're greeted with at each destination, warms me through. It's easy for me to see why this task was so important to Celeste. She's delivering more than just gifts. She's giving them magic. For one morning, it's magic for those kids and their families. And she doesn't need to be there to see it in person. Because she knows it will happen. And that's enough for her.
As we glide away from the last house, the sled we're towing now empty, I wish someone had been that person in my life. Someone to deliver magic on Christmas for the child I'd been.
Celeste's grip around my waist tightens, and it's like she knows what I'm feeling. Without me even saying anything, she recognizes the comfort I need, and offers it, without expecting anything in return.
I lay my hand over hers, keeping the other firm on the handle, guiding us around the trees and buried logs that could unseat us if I allow myself to get distracted. And I know now, I won't let anything happen to this woman.
When the cabin finally comes into view, I'm not sure if I'm relieved or regretting it. Because here, in the dark early morning of Christmas Day, it feels like it's just the two of us in this world. As if everything is perfect and nothing could break the magic building between us.
But I know that's just a fantasy. Reality is waiting for us.
It always is.
9
CELESTE
I'm breathless when the snow machine slides to a stop in front of the cabin. I'm chilled, but also, I feel alive in a way that I hadn't before now. My heart is beating so loud I fear that Leo can hear it and knows exactly why.
"Go on inside and get yourself warmed up." His voice is gruff once more, and I can already feel a shift in him. Like the closeness we shared is slipping away, and I'm afraid it's going to be lost if I don't do something to stop it.
He helps me off the seat with a gentle hand and waits until I walk up to the door of the cabin, before disappearing around the corner. His gaze stays focused straight ahead.
I can see what he's trying to do. Push me away, return to the loneliness that existed before I arrived.
But I'm more stubborn than he knows. It's going to take more than a grumpy soldier to scare me away.
