Damnhim.
“Then I’ll just have to learn how to bepersuasive.”
He let me pull away, and I just stared at him. This beautiful man deserved so much more than me. A broken battered shell of a woman. I’d likely never have kids. I didn’t have any family. Hell, I’d been practically useless for the last fouryears.
“What do you want with me? You could haveanyone.”
He didn’t touch me, but his hands shifted like he wanted to pull me in. “You’re not anyone. No one makes me want to laugh and throw things at the same time. No one has ever made me wonder what it would be like to not fight all the time. And no one has ever made me think I’d be happy spending the rest of my life arguing and makingup.”
It wasn’t me he wanted. He’d longed for a ghost, a woman who was destroyed by a bomb and bullet. I couldn’t live up to her. How could anyone by the way his eyes went hazy when he talked about her. “You don’t want me,” I said, curling my arms around my belly. “The woman you knew isdead.”
He reached out and softly tiled my chin to look at him. “You might think she is because you never knew her, but I see her in you. Not just your looks, but by the glint of steel in your eyes. And how you keep pushing me away while trying to make sure I know you don’t mean it. You’re not as lost as you think youare.”
My next exhale stuttered out of me. I equally regretted coming back here and not running back sooner. Nothing I could do about itnow.
“So, you were going to tell me what I’ll bedoing.”
His brow furrowed up at the subject change, but he didn’t press me. Instead, he grabbed my hand, pulled me from the couch, out to the bar. “Do you know how to make anydrinks?”
I shook my head. “Where would I have learnedthat?”
“I have no idea what you’ve been up to for four years. Maybe you went to Chicago and learned bartending. Did you?” He smiled gently, trying to coax one from me, but it would take more effort after how I shamed myselfearlier.
“Nope, I don’t drink much. It doesn’t mix with the standing pain med prescription Ihave.”
He tipped his head and spun to face the liquor. “Clear liquor on this side and brown on that side. You’ll figure it out. Most of the regulars are beer drinkers anyway, and those who order liquor usually tell you the name of what theywant.”
He squeezed past me, tapping his hands on my waist, while brushing his front to my behind despite the extra space on either side of us. Then he pointed to the cash register. “Money goes in there, tips in there. A price sheet is on the other side. We don’t serve any food besides peanuts. Easyenough.”
I blinked at him a few times. “Easy enough,” I repeated, hoping he bought it. “What time do youopen?”
He checked the clock on the wall. “In about twenty minutes, and we stay open until midnight. If you need a break, just let meknow.”
Once I got the rhythm of the place, it didn’t seem so overwhelming. People filtered in and out, and while the place was never actually busy, I stayed mobile for most of the afternoon and evening. It helped occupy my mind, and I fell into an almost trance of peace while I stayed in motion. Feeling useful for the first time in years shaved some of the anger I’d been holding on to sotightly.
I wiped one end of the bar down, and Murphy came over, bumping into me, like he had been all day. At some point, I realized it was his way of having an excuse to touch me, and I didn’t mind it. His skin burned warm every time it grazed mine, and I thought about how good he’d feel behind me in theshower.
“You should take a break,” Murphy said, pulling me from a dangerousspiral.
“I’mgood.”
He trapped my hand under his over the wet rag. “Please, go sit down for a minute. Drink some water. I’ll come bring you a sandwich in aminute.”
I didn’t like men bossing me around, but arguing with him seemed like it might take longer and ensure I’d spend more time sitting, so I relinquished the cloth and went to the office. It was dark outside, so I flipped on the light. The silence enveloped me, and I didn’t likeit.
Murphy followed me a few seconds later and threw himself on the couch next to me, a sandwich wrapped in a napkin in one hand. “Are youhungry?”
I shook my head, and he sat the sandwich on the desk before turning to me again. Something in his eyes drew a hot line through me, sizzling all the way to my toes. “What…” Ibegan.
He cut me off by smashing his lips into mine one hand on my cheek, the other clawing at my hips to shift me onto his lap. A pressure built in my belly and fell into him, releasing the pent-up arousal that he’d stoked all day with every look and everytouch.
He kissed me hard and deep, drawing my tongue between his lips with his own. Spearmint and cold ice flashed in my head, and it battled with the sheer heat of his hands moving up my bare back under myshirt.
I jerked back trying to catch my breath, my chest heaving. Damn, I wanted to unbutton his jeans and have him righthere.
“Don’t do it,” he whispered. “We are taking this slow. That means we are only makingout.”
I didn’t recognize the whimper that came out of me, and he pressed his forehead to mine. “I know,” he said. “I want to bend you over the desk so bad, I can barely keep still. I want to push into you from behind while your hands clutch tight to the edge. I want to fuck you until you can’t think about anything except me insideyou.”
