Oblivion
Mara
Iregretted walking in like this. Trying to force him into something he obviously held back on. Why the hell did I feel the need to push him? It started the second I saw him in the parking lot. The desire to stretch toward him and see how far I could pull him withme.
I didn’t run from the explosions. I didn’t run from the bullets. I didn’t run from thehospitals.
But I ran fromhim.
Fled back to the tiny bathroom in the corridor and huddled on the closed toilet shaking. Shame beat in me so deep, it turned my stomach over until I felt the sting of bile in the back of my throat.Who was thiswoman?
I wanted him, and yes, his touch helped bring some semblance of peace to the roiling in my brain. But I felt like a junkie hunting for her nextfix.
A soft knock interrupted me before I started to sobloudly.
“Mara?” Murphy called through the sturdy wooddoor.
I wiped my cheeks and grabbed my jeans from where I’d left them on the floor. If he and I were going to talk, I’d do it clothed. I also resolved to stop throwing myself at him this way. He’d said he loved me. I supposed the declaration entitled me to some leeway, but if I kept acting like this, maybe he’d take itback.
“Mara?” he called again with anotherknock.
I sucked in a gust of air, trying to steady myself before I answered. “Yes?”
“Come out and talk to me. Don’t dothis?”
I got my bra and shirt on then slipped into my boots. “Dowhat?”
He jiggled the knob but didn’t push the unlocked door open. I checked my red splotched face in the mirror before opening the door. He jerked back his hand still hovering from gripping theknob.
“Are you alright?” he asked while scanning me from my wet lashes to my unlacedboots.
I shoved past him toward the office so I could get more distance between us. Exactly the opposite of what I wanted, but this was a test of wills now. I threw myself on the couch, and he joined me, crowding close, so I pushed himback.
“A minute ago, you were standing here naked. Without a word, you left, and now you want space? You are being impossible, woman,” he said then followed it with a groan and running his hands over his face. His fingers scraped along the stubble on his chin and cheeks, the scratching sound breaking up my poundingheartbeat.
“I shouldn’t have done that. It was stupid. This is your business, and I’m now an employee…” I threw up my hands trying to put into words what I wasn’t willing tosay.
I’m an idiot. I can’t control myself. I need to becommitted.
“You aren’t just an employee, and it’s never a hardship to see you naked. I just want to know why you are pushing so hard. We have all the time in theworld.”
I started pointedly at a black scuff mark on the wall, ensuring he didn’t see the pain in myeyes.
As if reading me like a book, he hopped himself closer to me. “If you think for one second I don’t want you, then let me disavow you of that notion now. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about being inside you for fiveyears.”
His pronouncement ricocheted through my head and into my chest, sparking against my heart. All the while leaving a trail of heat down to my core. He said he wanted me, and yet, he kept pushing me away.Because you’re fuckingunstable.
He reached out and took the hand closest to him and brought my fingers to his mouth. I turned to face him now, my index and pointer finger resting softly against the muted pink of his lowerlip.
“If you won’t hear what I have to say, maybe feeling the words leave my mouth will give you the assurance you need. I want you Mara Williams. I’d lay you down on my desk and take you right now if I knew you wanted ittoo.”
I opened my mouth to tell him I did, and he shook his head. “I know something is going on with you. And I don’t want us finally coming together to be some sort of mistake, or something you’ll regret later when you are feeling more likeyourself.”
I tried to twist my fingers from his grasp, but he clamped his own tighter around my palm. “No. You aren’t running again. Not ever again, if I have a say aboutit.”
“And if youdon’t?”
He licked his lips, his tongue grazing against my fingertips, and the banked inferno inside me roared tolife.
