TWELVE
SIX DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS
I love Katy,I do, but oh my God, she can talk.
It’s been almost ten minutes since I left Clara with Gabriel, and I feel awful. I don’t want her to think I ditched her, but I haven’t found the right moment to extricate myself from the conversation without being ruder than I’d like to be tonight.
When I turned around and saw her before we left our apartment, I thought I was going to faint. I have always known she is beautiful, have craved her since the moment I laid eyes on her, but this time was different.
I’m trying to tell myself it’s not the fact that I’ve skipped my suppressants for the past two days. I don’t want to get my hopes up that she could be mine. But just being near her has my cock hardening and dripping slick in a way it never has before.
If anyone asked, I wouldn’t be able to explain why I stopped taking my suppressants after my conversation with Sylvia at the coffee shop. My hopeful Omega heart told me she said that because she knows something about Clara that I don’t, but that couldn’t be it.
Maybe she’s just missing her Omega this holiday season, and so she’s urging me to find someone before it’s too late.
Coming off of suppressants is a challenging experience, to say the least. I’m tired, achy, and long to be in my nest rather than talking to Katy about some perceived slight from Mitchell.
I’m seconds away from blowing her off, finally having had enough of listening to the ramblings of an Omega who is so obviously obsessed with an Alpha that it’s manifesting as anger. Before I get the chance, I feel a hand weave into mine, and I don’t have to look to know it’s Clara. My soul recognizes hers.
“Hey,” she murmurs. She’s trembling, and I pull her closer to my side. “You’ve been gone a while.”
“Oh, I’m sorry!” Katy says, finally noticing that she’s been monopolizing my time. “I’m Katy.”
“Clara.”
“I’ve heard a lot about you!” I narrow my eyes at my coworker, wishing we could communicate telepathically so I could tell her to shut up before she reveals to Clara just how much I talk about her. Before she can say anything else, Clara tugs on my arm.
“I know we just got here, but I’m not feeling so good. Would you mind if we got out of here?”
I turn my back to Katy and pull Clara closer. “Are you okay?”
She nods, resting her head on my shoulder. “Yeah, just a little overwhelmed.”
My telltale heart thumps so hard it threatens to reveal my true feelings to the Beta in my arms. “How about we go home, put on our pajamas, and watch a movie? Maybe…” My words catch in my throat. I’ve never offered this to anyone before, but it feels right. Something about the way she feels in my arms, how my body aches for her, tells me this is what I’m supposed to do.
“Maybe we could watch it in my nest?”
Her body tenses in my arms, and I worry I overstepped. The fear of rejection floods my body, and I hold my breath.
“That sounds like just what I need,” she whispers, and I try not to exhale my relief too loudly.
I say a quick goodbye to Katy and usher Clara to the door. As we’re heading out, Gabriel comes around a corner, looking harried and confused. I’ve never seen him so rattled. “Wait,” he says, moving in front of us. “You’re leaving? You can’t leave yet.”
Of course, I wish I could have talked to Gabriel more. I would have loved to see if he and Clara got along, so my stupid little heart could run away with fantasies about the three of us. But Clara’s comfort is my priority over an unrequited crush.
“Clara isn’t feeling well,” I tell him, squeezing her hand reassuringly as she moves closer to my side. “It was good seeing you, Gabriel. I’m off next week, so I’ll see you after the holidays, yeah?”
“Just stay here, okay? Just for a moment,” he says, running away without waiting for an answer. A few moments later, he’s back, holding a red and green plaid bag. “It’s your Christmas present.”
My heart squeezes. I can’t read into this. I won’t read into this. He’s my boss, and he’s giving me a Christmas present. That is a totally normal thing to do. It’s not because he’s harboring feelings like I am for him.
It’s a Christmas present. A run-of-the-mill Christmas present. I bet he got one for everyone—nothing to get excited about.
But, fuck, I am excited, and my hindbrain is spinning with hope and possibilities.
“Thank you,” I tell him, taking the bag. “Merry Christmas, Gabriel.”
I’m nervous.
