She laughed. “That’s because you’re amaleCanis lupusand a dominant to boot.”
“If you’d been with another male before me, I probably would have killed him,” Dillon told her. It wasn’t a lie. Regardless of the fact that he knew it was a double standard, and a very crappy one at that, he couldn’t stand the idea of someone else touching his mate. And yet…
“Don’t,” Tanya said firmly. “Male and female. We were made different in many ways. One of them just happens to be, not always but a great deal of the time, the ability for a female to give grace that a maleCanis lupuscannot.
“Lilly gave you love when you were alone. You’d gone rogue from your pack. You were lost. Rogue wolves don’t often make it on their own for long, Dillon. They’re either killed by another pack or go feral. Lilly kept that from happening to you. In a strange way, I am thankful to her. She also gave you something I can never give you.”
Dillon dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her torso, pressing his face against her stomach and kissing her there. Tanya had told him almost immediately that she was barren. She would never have children. She’d known Dillon had been with a human previously as she’d seen it in his mind when they bonded, and she’d even given him the option to stay with the human at the chance of having pups. With Lilly, there had been thepossibility. With Tanya, there wasn’t. Of course, he’d refused. Having pups was the last thing on his mind at that point. He’d just found his true mate. The darkness would now be kept at bay. In a very real sense, he’d been given a new lease on life.
He kissed her stomach again. “I love you, every part of you, just as you are. If I could, I would move heaven and earth to give you a child.”
She wrapped her hands around his head and held him to her. Her nails ran up and down the flesh of his neck. “I know you would. But for whatever reason, this is the Great Luna’s plan, and I trust her.”
Dillon soaked up the scent of his mate as he wrestled with his demons. He was worried about Lilly, but only as a friend and as the woman who was the mother of his daughter. He no longer felt the love for her he once had, for which he was grateful. It was bad enough that he had the memories, locked down tight in a vault he never opened, because it was a reminder that he hadn’t saved himself for his true mate. But the one thing he wasn’t ashamed of was Jacquelyn. She was the result of the choices he’d made, and he agreed with Tanya that no child was ever a mistake or something to be ashamed of, no matter how they came into the world. He loved Jacque. She was his. And she would forever tie him to Lilly. Praise the Great Luna, she’d seen fit to give him an amazing mate like Tanya who was confident enough to not feel threatened and had even been happy for him when he’d found out about Jacque. Her exact words were, “I always wondered what it would be like to have a daughter,” as if it hadn’t dawned on her to be jealous.
“What are you?” he whispered against her. “No person has the ability to forgive someone the way you do and even feel joy for their mistakes.” He didn’t mean Jacque, and she knew it, but he liked that she took it as an opportunity to scold him. Dillon felt like he deserved some sort of wrath from her, even if it was the wrong kind.
Tanya smacked him on the back of the head. “A child is never a mistake, Dillon Jacobs, and saying so will only get you smacked harder.”
He smiled, but he didn’t let her see it. His little mate was fierce. She was protective of Jacque even though she never said as much. He always felt her worry for his daughter, and now for Slate as well. And he wasn’t shocked that he’d felt pain and grief through their bond when she’d found out Cypher, Lilly’s mate, had died.
Tanya had wanted to immediately go check on Lilly, but Dillon had felt that wouldn’t have been wise. They’d seen her at the Blood Moon ceremony, and she’d stood with her shoulders back, head held high, looking like the queen she’d become. But Dillon hadn’t missed the incredible anguish that filled her eyes. Eyes that had once been whiskey gold were now the color of her dead mate’s: the bright yellow of the warlock race.
“Will you go to her now?” Tanya asked, a bit of frustration filling her voice. “Jacque has called multiple times. She is worried sick. If for no other reason, check on Lilly for your daughter’s sake.”
Dillon stood and took her hands. “How could you possibly be okay with me going to check on my ex-lover?” He purposely chose the word lover because it was a term that would have enraged him. Not to his surprise, Tanya didn’t even blink.
“Because your daughter, the person with half your DNA, is terrified for her mother’s safety. She needs to know her mother is going to be okay. You, as herfather, have the right to see if the mother ofhischild is all right. It won’t be political or seen as a power move the way it would be if Fane stepped in.Andbecause it's the damn right thing to do.” She punctuated the last four words with pokes to his chest. She was small, but she was strong.
Dillon stared into her eyes for a long time and even looked into her mind, which she left wide open for him to snoop. There was no deception in her words. She truly felt it was his duty to check on Lilly.
“Dammit!” He growled and turned from her. He lifted his arm and wrapped his hand around the back of his neck as he took several deep breaths. When Dillon finally felt like he had his frustrated wolf under control, he turned back to his mate. She stood with her arms folded in front of her, an eyebrow raised at him as if to say “Why are you still here?”
“How the hell am I supposed to get there?”
“Don’t curse at me, Dillon Jacobs.” She pointed a finger at him, then she held up her cell phone. “I just happen to have a contact who said I’d no doubt be needing her services and to call when you realized it.”
Dillon muttered multiple curse words under his breath. “I swear that damn fairy can’t keep her nose out of anyone’s business.”
“That damn fairy has ears,” Peri said coolly from behind him. “And I’ve already checked on Lilly, but maybeyoucan get her to talk to Jacque, parent to parent. Not to mention, she could use a friend. If you were nothing else to her, Dillon, you were once a very good friend.”
Dillon met his mate's victorious eyes. “Fine, but my mate goes with me. No argument, Tanya.”
Tanya glanced over at Peri, seeming to wait for something. Finally, the female alpha nodded.
Dillon turned to look at the high fae. “Did you have to give permission?”
“Women know other women,” Peri informed him as if he was a moron, which when it came to women, he clearly was. “She wanted to make sure that she wouldn’t be doing more harm than good by coming with you. Some women would not want to see the female she lost her male to, especially after losing their current male.”
“And what makes you think Lilly will be okay with Tanya’s presence?”
“I think you should both go and find out for yourselves,” Peri said. “I would not put your mate in danger.”
Dillon snorted. “Forgive me if I look at your track record at putting people in danger and call BS.”
Peri shrugged. “I do notputthem in danger. Danger seems to follow whoever is near me. It is the burden I bear from being a badass.”
Tanya coughed down a laugh, which caused Dillon to shoot a glare at her. This was her fault. His little mate just smiled at him. Troublemaker.
