“Okay,” Tenia said after several tense moments. “I trust Lilly. If she says we need to wait, then we wait. No matter how long that is.”
Peri didn’t open her eyes. Her body was suddenly tired, and her mind wanted to check out for a bit.
“Rest, beloved.”She heard Lucian’s voice in her mind. Again, he used the bond that was unique to them because of her fae blood instead of the mate bond. It took a ton of effort to keep him blocked from her mind through the fae bond. And apparently she was too tired to even try.“You are safe. You are loved. I am waiting for you.”
Peri let his words wash over her and found herself reaching for him through their bond. In her mind’s eye, she pictured his arms wrapped around her and her face buried in his neck. He could protect her from the darkness in the world. Lucian could bear her burden on his strong shoulders. He could walk with her through the fire if only she would let him.“I’m sorry, Lucian.”
“I know. We’re going to be okay, Perizada. No matter what doubts you’re facing, do not doubt me. You were created for me, and I for you.”
Peri let sleep take her as she clung to her mate’s words.
ChapterThirteen
“I’m beginning to realize that the soul is not simply the whole of a person. The soul is an amalgamation of pieces. As the body has many parts, so does the soul. And just like parts of the body can die, so can parts of the soul. I am biding my time, waiting for the right moment. But while I wait, small pieces of my soul are dying.” ~Kara
“Ilived with a girl named Bree in one of my foster homes. She used to burn herself,” Kara told Dyna who was twining Kara’s hair into a long braid.
“Why did she burn herself?” Reena asked, pausing on her way to the bathroom. The elf was preparing the ritualistic cleansing Kara had undergone every night for the past month. Ludcarab insisted she come to him spotless. The fool didn’t realize he was the one who made her dirty.Hewas the reason she needed cleansing in the first place.
“Because the physical pain distracts from the pain inside,” Kara explained, her eyes unfocused. Though there was a mirror in front of her, she didn't see herself. “It hurts less. Although, one time when we talked about it, Bree told me she also did it because it made her feel clean. I didn’t understand at the time. She explained she’d done a project about metals in her science class. During the project, she spoke to a silversmith. One of the things she’d learned was that fire purifies silver. The purification only happened when the silver was plunged into the hottest part of the flame and held for just the right amount of time. Too long in the fire and the silver ruined. Too short and the impurities weren’t removed.”
“How did the silversmith know when to take the silver out of the fire?” Coya asked.
“I asked the same question,” Kara replied, remembering Bree’s face. “She said the silversmith told her he knew to take the silver out when he could see his own image in it.”
“Then how did Bree know when to stop burning herself? She wasn’t metal. She was human flesh.” Coya laid out Kara’s required clothes for the evening.
Dyna stepped away, finally finished with Kara’s hair. She stood and looked at Coya. “I don’t know. I left the foster home and never saw Bree again.” With a blank expression, Kara walked to the bathroom. She swallowed down the familiar bile that rose in her throat every night during her preparations.
Reena helped Kara out of her robe and then took the girl’s hand to steady her while Kara stepped into the tub. Once settled, Kara sat motionless as granite while the female elves began their ritualistic chanting. Kara started when she felt a hand on her arm. She turned to see Dyna crouched down next to her. The elf’s eyes were filled with worry, and her voice quavered. “You do not need the fire, Kara,” Dyna said softly. “You are not impure.”
Kara silently held the elf female’s gaze. What could she say? Dyna wasn’t the one being forced to be with a man she didn’t want. What did she know of purity? How could she possibly understand a single touch of Ludcarab’s hand made Kara feel as if she’d been forcibly submerged into a river of sewage. She could smell the stench on her flesh. It never left her, regardless of all the soap, scrubbing, oils, or anything else the elves used to try and “clean” her. Bree had been on to something. Being bathed in flames seemed like the only viable choice.
Dyna’s eyes filled with tears. “Can you hold on just a little longer?” she whispered. “Just alittlelonger.”
The words triggered a memory–a strawberry blonde girl with more knowledge in her tiny pinky than most people had in their whole brain. “Jewel.” She said the girl’s name out loud. Jewel was her friend—her brave friend who had taught Kara what it meant to hold on. As she thought about Jewel, other faces popped into her mind. “Stella, Anna, and Heather,” Kara said quietly, her heart suddenly feeling lighter. She hadn’t forgotten them, but her mind seemed to have tucked them away somewhere, and it took a trigger to bring them to the forefront.
“Hold on a little longer, Kara,” Dyna said again. “For yourself and for the people you just mentioned. Hold on.”
The elf’s voice brought her back to the present and reminded her why she’d thought of Jewel in the first place. Jewel had once told her one of the ways she’d survived Volcan. She’d told Kara, “The difference between a hero and an ordinary person is five minutes. A hero endures and fights five minutes longer.” That was how Jewel survived. And it would be how Kara would survive as well.
“Okay,” Kara said, her voice barely audible. “A little longer.” She had no idea what she was promising. Not to burn herself? Not to kill herself? Had those things really been what Dyna had seen in Kara’s eyes? Maybe, Kara thought, then shook her head. No. There was no way she would leave this life without taking Ludcarab with her. If she died, then that bastard did, too.
Kara let her mind slip into the trancelike state she’d mastered over the past month while the elf females continued their ministrations. She could still hear things going on around her and even smell the scents of the oils. But her consciousness, her soul, went somewhere else, somewhere safe where Ludcarab couldn’t touch her.
As she was led to Ludcarab’s room, her physical feet touched the cold stone floor. But in her mind, her bare feet were tickled by soft grass underneath. The castle walls were gone. Instead, a forest surrounded her. She hurried forward, knowing she would break through the trees any second andhewould be waiting in the clearing for her. For a brief second, her breath caught in her lungs. What if he wasn’t there? What if he didn’t want to see her?
“Kara.”The deep voice she’d grown to love filled her mind.“I’m here.”
Three steps later, she saw Nick sitting in the same place he always did, staring out over the valley below the hill that was her sanctuary. Kara stopped and took in his features. He kept his hair trimmed so short he was nearly bald. The hairstyle didn’t detract from his good looks; it only added to the mysterious air about him. He had a strong jaw, sensual lips, and eyes so dark it was almost impossible to see the edge of his pupil where the color began. His shoulders were broad and looked as if they could carry the weight of the world without bowing. Everything about Nick radiated masculine dominance. Which translated tosafein her mind. A male this strong could protect her.
“Are you just going to stand there and stare at me?”he asked, his deep voice playful. His lips didn’t move, yet she still heard him. When she’d asked him how that was possible, he’d told her it was because their souls were one. Kara still wasn’t sure if she believed him.
“Come sit by me.” Nick patted the grass beside him.
She walked over and sat down. Kara drew her legs up until her knees were bent, and she wrapped her arms around them. She could feel Nick’s eyes on her, but she didn’t turn to face him. For some reason, when she looked at him, Kara felt like a blubbering schoolgirl attempting to talk to her childhood crush. She found it easier to speak if her eyes focused on something else.“Are you real?”It wasn’t the first time she’d asked him the question. She asked him every time she escaped into her mind.
“Yes.”He gave the same answer each time.“One day soon, we will meet outside of this place.”
