“Violet, nobody can promise anybody forever,” he says. “My parents were high school sweethearts. They had me. They got married. They did everything right.” He whistles low. “One small decision, one wrong turn, and anything can happen. My parents didn’t get forever, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t try. All that matters is that both of us are willing to try.”
“Are you?” I ask. “Are you willing to try because I am pregnant? Would you even be here if I weren’t?”
He looks at me like I just said the world’s stupidest thing, but his voice isn’t mocking. It’s patient. “Sweetheart, I didn’t know you were pregnant when I came. And for all I knew, you didn’t plan to keep it. I stayed for you. I’m here for you. If I try because I love you, then what the fuck does it matter if I try for you and our baby?”
When he says our baby, he looks like he’s going to lose it.
“Ever since I saw that report, I’ve wanted to hold you tight. Tell you everything that’s in my fucking brain. I’m not that guy, Violet. I can’t be flowery and poetic. I fucking want you. It’s that simple. I want to be in your bed and in your kitchen—” He kicks a toe at the strawberry rug. “Minus the knickknacks. I want to try. The baby just speeds up the timeline.”
“So where does that leave the club?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “What do you mean?”
“If you choose me, doesn’t that mean you have to quit being a member?”
19
Shadow
My answer is an immediate, “No.”
I hold on to Violet like I can’t bear to let her go, and I can’t. Her skin, her hair, the scent of her. Those things are what my body craves, but knowing that she’s carrying our child, my child. It’s like a drug. I don’t want to leave her side.
“I am a club member through and through. It’s in my blood. My brothers are my family. They will always be a part of me, and I will always be a member of the club.”
“How, then?” she asks. “Do any of the other guys have kids or even wives?”
When she says wives, a massive shit-eating grin covers my face. I can do this. I can make this woman my wife.
“Fuck yeah, they do,” I tell her. “Phantom has two teenage girls. Blade’s a single dad. We don’t have a good track record as far as marriages go, but somebody’s gotta be the first. I’d put my money on us.”
“I don’t want you to marry me out of obligation,” she says, her face smashed against my chest.
I hold her head and don’t say anything. I have to choose my words carefully, and I’m an asshole. Feelings have never been my strong suit.
“Violet, I don’t do anything I don’t want to. I don’t obligate myself to anyone, not even the club. Having honor and loyalty are different from being compelled.” I finally breathe into her hair. “When I do ask you to marry me, and I will do that someday, you’ll know it’s because it’s what I want more than I want to breathe the fucking air.”
She’s crying again, and I don’t know if it’s hormones or happiness or misery, and I’m not gonna ask. I just hold her and let her.
“Shadow,” she finally whispers. “I want to try.”
I pick her up in my arms and carry her to her bedroom. “Then we’re fucking going to give it our all. You hear me? We’re gonna try.”
I set her on the bed and kneel between her legs. I hold her hands and kiss each fingertip. “Sweetheart, it won’t be easy, but I can be in the club and be your man too.”
“You’re mine,” she says softly, fluttering her eyes closed. “And I’m yours. It’s hard to believe that just a month ago, we were strangers.”
“We got to know each other pretty well, pretty fast,” I agree. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I stand up and gesture toward the bed. “Why don’t you lie down? I’ll turn off the TV, and we can go to bed.”
“Do we have to go to sleep?” She looks at me, a seductive grin curling her full lips into a delectable smirk. “I haven’t been sick in a few hours, so…” She waggles her eyebrows.
“You think you can?” My mind races. I’ve had my cock on lockdown since I walked through that door and picked her up off the floor. But I know exactly how fast I can wake it up, if she’s feeling up to it. “We can stop if?—”
“Let’s try to be fast enough that I don’t have time to feel sick, ’kay? Make me feel good, Shadow. Help me forget how shitty the last month has been without you.”
I don’t know if this means that Violet has accepted that the club is as much a part of me as she is, as our baby is. But now is not the time for worrying. My woman is pulling off her clothes, and my hard-on is throbbing.
“I don’t have condoms,” she says, sounding apologetic. “You’re the only person I’ve been with in ages, so I just haven’t kept any around.”
