I curve my lips into a frown. “That’s not the same as—”
“Willow,” he presses. “Say it. What did you feel?”
“I loved it,” I admit. “It was unlike anything I’ve ever had. I knew from the moment I tasted it, I could eat it a thousand times and never get sick of it.”
He nods. “I’m a simple man. I know what I like. I know what I feel. I’m not asking you for forever, but I’m asking you to consider dating me. Fuck the one-year rule or whatever. Who knows how you’ll feel by the time this project is over.” He waves a hand around the kitchen and smirks. “Shit, at this rate, you’ll be in Star Falls for the next three years. Who knows? A couple more construction delays, and you might end up staying a lifetime.”
His grin is so warm, so genuine, tears fill my eyes. “I’m not that simple,” I tell him. “Nothing about me is that easy. My past, my present.”
He nods. “I know we’re different. I know that you’re classy and I’m all ego. I’m not good with numbers, and look at you.” Hemotions his hands around the kitchen again. “You do this. This is your job.”
He’s not wrong. We’re so different, and yet, every comfortable moment of the last two months I’ve spent with him.
Every night, I’ve fallen asleep in his arms. Every morning, I’ve woken up beside him. We’ve talked about surface things, but he’s a man I can go to with anything. I know that I can, and worse, I know that I want to. Deep down, maybe everything I tell myself about why this can’t work are just bullshit excuses. A way for me to run from something more real than anything else I’ve known.
“What are you saying?” I ask, because I don’t know what else to say. That I love him? That I’m falling in love with him? Hell yeah, I probably am.
But the timing couldn’t be worse. This could never work. Just like Pancake Circus, one major snag and the whole thing would fall apart in my hands.
“Willow, all I’m saying is that I’m falling for you. I think about you constantly. I used to spend every waking minute thinking about my restaurant and food, and now I spend every waking minute thinking about my restaurant and food and you. I want it all. I want you as part of my life, and I want to think about a future that lasts longer than a project. Will you at least consider it? I’m not asking you to marry me. Hell, I’m not even asking you to stay here in Star Falls or to give up your job.”
He pulls me close and crushes me against his chest.
“I never want you to choose between something you love and someone you love. Just tell me you’re in this with me. Whatever that means. Is that asking too much?”
That’s the question.
I can’t face the reality that this project is going to fail and I’m going to be on a plane in a few days or a few weeks, and then I’ll be the one to have to make the choice.
I know he says he’s not asking me to make a choice, but he’s not going to give up his business, and I wouldn’t ask him to.
But I’m not ready to give up everything that I’ve worked my entire life for because of love.
His hold on me loosens, and he looks guarded. He searches my face for his answer. “Willow? Whatever this means, are you in this with me? Not just hooking up, no fuck buddies. I want to know you’re mine for as long as you’ll have me. If that means after this project is over, you leave the state, we’ll find a way if we still want that. I’m not asking for then. I’m asking you for right now. Are we doing this, you and I?”
Tears wet my eyelashes. “Do you mean dinners with your family? Dates? The whole nine?”
He nods. “Everything except surprise visits with my parents. I might have to start calling first.”
I laugh and step into his arms. I rest my face against his chest and listen to the beating of his heart. It’s fast and steady, like mine. I close my eyes and let my fears roar through my ears.
This will never work! the fears shout.
Though this time, with Benny’s arms around me, a tiny voice inside me asks back,Butwhat if it does?
But I’m leaving. My rational brain insists on seeing the facts.
You have long-distance relationships with everyone you love,my heart reminds me.
But I’m so, so scared,my head finally admits.
I look up at Benny and reveal the truth. “I’m scared. Scared this could work. Scared how much I want you. Scared that it’s all too much, too soon. Scared it can’t last.”
“Be scared with me, then, Willow. Not of me. Not of this. I’ll never hold you back, but I don’t want to let you go.”
I close my eyes and lift up on my toes. Every ounce of my heart, body, and strength is pulling me—not away from him, but toward. Is this too much? Too soon? Probably all of it. Butmaybe for the first time in my life, I’ve met someone who’s worth trying for.
“Okay,” I whisper. “I’d rather be afraid with you than let you go. I’m in it, Benny. I’m in this—whatever it is, for however long it lasts.”
