After just a few minutes, I feel his body relax and his breathing grows even. I close my eyes and let my head fall back against the throw pillows. I’m more comfortable than I think I’ve ever felt in my life.
I feel safe.
Accepted.
Wanted.
Loved.
And I let those feelings wash over me while I cover our legs with the afghan, until I, too, fall fast asleep.
* * *
The incessant buzzingof my phone in my purse wakes me. I try to open my eyes, but they are sealed shut. I grumble and then realize I can’t move.
Ryder is fast asleep, not in the same position he was when we crashed, but he’s still beside me, our bodies curled together like nestled spoons.
I can tell by the faint light seeping in through the windows that it’s early. And if someone is calling or texting me at this hour, it’s serious.
I reluctantly slip from Ryder’s arms and untangle myself from the blankets before scrambling toward the front door where I left my purse.
With one eye half closed, I fumble for my phone and check the messages. There are six in all, each in escalating urgency. I read them from oldest to newest.
Gracie, honey, I came up to say goodnight and saw you weren’t in bed and your car was gone. Text me when you’re home so I know you’re safe.
Gracie, honey, it’s well after midnight. I’m not sure if you’re out or if I should call the police. Your father’s convinced me to wait until morning, but please, baby, call me when you see this.
Gracie, this is your mother. Are you safe? Honey, please… Call me when you get this. Lucia.
I don’t bother reading the last two from this morning. I pick up the phone and dial home. Ma answers on the first ring.
“Oh my God, sweetheart.”
“Ma.” I cut her off, talking softly. “I’m so sorry. I came over to Ryder’s and fell asleep on the couch. I should have left you a text or something. I didn’t expect to stay the whole night.”
“Honey,” Ma says, “I have been sick with worry. Do you know how much I love you? You’ve been so quiet and so off since last year. I didn’t know what to think, what to do.” She pauses and sucks in a breath. “Will you be home later today?”
“Yeah. I’ll be home in a bit.”
“I did call the police and tried to make a report. They told me you were an adult and I’d have to wait a ridiculous number of days before I could file a missing persons report.”
“Ma, for real? You did not.”
“I did. I’m sorry. You’ve been so distant, and you’ve been so stressed with the stuff going on at the shop…”
“Ma, I’m so sorry,” I say seriously. “Can you get some rest? I’m off work today. Maybe we can spend the day together. After you take a good nap.”
She’s sniffling, and I hear a lot of racket, which probably means she’s trying to hold the phone to her ear while she fumbles around for tissues.
“Yeah, honey, of course. I’m supposed to help Bev at the shelter today, and then Carol and I were going to meet Sassy for lunch. It’s her day off from Benito’s, and…”
“Okay, Ma, we’ll talk when I get home.”
“I love you, Gracie,” Ma says.
“I love you,” I say on a whisper.
When I end the call, Ryder is standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking concerned. “Everything all right?”
