“I’m a fucking idiot. I didn’t tell my parents I was leaving last night. My mom went in to say goodnight and apparently spent the whole night thinking I’d run away from home or been kidnapped.”
Ryder’s smile is small and stiff. “You’re a little old to be kidnapped, but I get it.” He looks at me with worry in his face. “Why would she think you ran away from home?”
Now that he’s opened up to me, I should tell him everything. But I’m not ready to. Not yet.
I have some unfinished business that I need to handle first. And I want to handle it on my own. The last thing I want is my mother or a boyfriend or anyone coming in to save the day. I don’t want to be like Ryder’s ex. I still can’t believe that woman hid so much from the man she was supposed to share everything with.
And then there’s Levi, the hotshot athlete whose star shines so bright, he thinks he is untouchable.
I’m a woman with flaws and faults. But before I share everything with Ryder, I want to bring him a story that may not have a happy ending, but a story where I’m my own hero.
I lift my face from his chest and loop my arms around his waist. I meet his eyes. “I haven’t exactly been honest with my mom about things going on in my life lately.” That’s true; it’s just not the entire truth. “There’s more I want to share with you when we have time to talk, but I should get home and clear the air with her.” I take him by the hand and lead him back to the couch. We sit side by side and hold hands in silence. “You know,” I say quietly, “I’d like to date you, Ryder. Get to really know you. See if there is as much between us as I think there might be.”
He tightens his grip on my fingers. “Hell yes. I’m in. If you’re not already scared away, you’re…” He grows quiet, and I bite back a smile.
Slow and steady. That’s how this relationship has been. No flare, no wildfire. But the strongest things are forged over time, so maybe…just maybe.
“Would you consider letting my parents babysit Luke and Cora so we can go on a real date?” I throw out the suggestion that I’ve been sitting on for a while now.
It means bringing Ryder into the Bianchi universe, but after this morning, that cat is out of the bag for good. I don’t want him to feel pressured, though. “You can bring them to my parents’ house if you’d be comfortable with them there. Or I can ask my mom if she’ll come here. This isn’t just me trying to get you alone. I mean, it is. But the kids’ safety comes first. Ahead of my dirtier needs.”
Ryder’s massive smile dims just a bit. “I appreciate the suggestion. I do. I just don’t know how the kids would feel about that,” he says. “They’re adjusting to a lot of new people all at once. I’d be willing to try, I just…”
I shake my head and tighten my hold on his hands. “Say no more. I get it.” The tears sting my nose and eyes again. “Look at what just happened with my mom and I’m old. Your babies are your heart and your soul. I get that. I will never push something that won’t be in their best interests. If you say it’s a no-go, that’s that.”
“Thank you for understanding. You’re incredible. You don’t know how few women would feel the way you do.”
I shrug. “Good. Less competition for all of this.” I motion my hand from his head to the waistband of those wrecked sweats. “And I really want all of this.”
He chuckles and loops an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. “Why don’t you invite us over to meet your parents? I know it’s not the normal way these things are done, but if we meet them and the kids are okay, we’ll see where it goes.”
I wrap my arms around his waist and breathe him in. I close my eyes and nod against the softness of his shirt. Beneath his shirt is warm, solid muscle. That steady heartbeat.
“I like the sound of seeing where it goes.”
12
GRACIE
When I letmyself in the front door, Ma is upstairs, and Dad is drinking coffee and reading the paper.
“Morning, sweetheart.” He greets me with a kiss and not a word of warning or worry. “Coffee?”
I chuckle to myself. Leave it to Pops to act like everything is completely normal, even though I’m sure Ma kept him up all night freaking out.
I’ve already decided today is going to be a day of hard things. “I’d love some,” I say. “Do you mind if I listen to a voice message with you? Not like with you, with you, but. Like, while we sit here?”
My dad looks at me over the stylish tortoiseshell rims of his glasses. “Not at all. Do what you got to do.” He pours me a full cup of coffee and sets the mug and a spoon in front of me at the dining room table.
I punch in the voice mail code and listen to the message from my doctor.
“Hi, Grace. This is Anna from Dr. Calder’s office. It’s time to book your annual exam, but there’s a note in the file that the doctor wanted to schedule a hysterosalpingogram. We can’t book them on the same day, but when you call back to schedule your annual, just have them pull the chart and schedule both appointments. There are some activity restrictions before the test, so you’ll need to schedule based on your cycle and will need to avoid vaginal intercourse. We’ll tell you more when you call to set the appointment. Thanks, Grace.”
Well, that’s exactly what I expected. Not better, but certainly no worse. It’s time to schedule the tests. And time to face whatever the results mean.
I delete the message and take a sip of coffee.
“Everything all right, kiddo?” My pops looks at me over those glasses, and I’m overcome with love for him. I can just imagine Ryder someday sitting with Cora as she faces hard things. I believe he’ll be even more involved and loving than my dad has been, which is saying a lot. My dad, even before he retired, was involved, passionate, and supportive.
