I wave, not moving otherwise as I watch them walk out the front door and head next door to the bar. Angelo’s entire family is something I’ve always dreamed about. Growing up as an only child was lonely and sometimes smothering because my parents focused their attention only on me. I wonder what it would’ve been like to grow up with so many brothers and never have that feeling of being truly alone.
“Roger,” I call out when I hear the back door slam shut. I figured he’d come back out front and say goodbye, but he disappeared without another word.
When I walk into the kitchen, I see an envelope propped up next to my mixer with my name written in Mitchell’s handwriting. I run, snatching up the paper as quickly as possible, and drag my fingers across the script.
When I turn it over, there’s a Post-it from Roger.
Don’t open until later. Love, Roger xoxo
14
Angelo
“Do you love me?” Marissa asks as she gazes up at me. Her hand’s covering my heart, warming my skin from the cool fall breeze.
“I do.” I cover her hand with my own. “More than the stars in the sky above us.”
“Will you forget me?”
“How could I?”
She props herself up on her elbow, hovering above me. “You need to move on,” she says softly. “I can’t stay with you forever.”
I slide my hand against her cheek, cupping her face in my palm. “I want to be with you always.”
“I’ll always be here.” She presses softly against my chest. “Watching over you. But it’s time,” she tells me as her body starts to fade.
I gasp, sitting straight up, half asleep with tears streaming down my face. My dreams of Marissa have virtually stopped. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen her when I close my eyes. I’m both comforted and overcome with grief from the dream, feeling like I lost her all over again.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed, letting the tears fall to the floor. I feel such anger in this moment, wishing I could crawl back into the dream and hating myself for waking up.
“Come back,” I whisper into the darkness. “Just one more time.”
She’s never said those words to me before. Not in a dream, at least. It’s like she was saying goodbye again, ripping my heart into a million little pieces.
“Promise me, Angelo.”
The words she begged me to say come back to me, slamming into my chest like a sledgehammer. I would’ve promised her my celibacy if it meant she’d be happy. That’s all I ever wanted—besides her next to me.
The clock on the nightstand ticks over to midnight, and I know there’s no way I’m getting back to sleep anytime soon.
I grab my phone and tiptoe down the hallway, careful not to wake the kids. The screen flashes as I pour myself a glass of whiskey, and I collapse onto the couch.
Tilly: I can’t sleep. Sorry for the late text, but I was thinking of you.
I stare at the screen and take the first biting sip of whiskey, wondering if Marissa knows about Tilly and is doing something to push us together.
I’ve been at war with myself since this morning when Tate found us on the couch. Kissing Tilly was the closest thing to happiness I’ve felt since Marissa last lay in my arms. I spent half the day wondering if I should tell Tilly we needed to slow down, and I still hadn’t made a decision when I fell asleep.
I lean back into the couch, placing the whiskey on the table next to me and open Tilly’s text message.
“Is this what you want?” I look around the room like Marissa’s going to appear before I type out my reply.
Me: I can’t sleep either, and it was nice to wake up to your text.
I take another sip, waiting for Tilly’s reply, and try to shake off the sadness that’s settled in my soul from the dream of Marissa.
Tilly: I barely sleep anymore.
