“Nothing happened with her and me. I was already passed out when she got here, and she crawled in my bed on her own. I never even woke up until after you left, and the guys woke me up. They called her to come over, not me, thinking I needed someone to talk to. She’s a friend and only a friend. I did nothing wrong, Sophia. I didn’t touch her, let alone place my lips on hers,” I said, sadness filling me with the image of Sophia kissing another man.
“I don’t believe you! I saw your tangled bodies, naked in this very bed.”
“I told you already. I was passed out and never even knew she was here. Does she want me? Yes. Do I want her? Fuck no,” I yelled. “Nothing happened between us, but I clearly saw your lips on another man. You ripped my heart out. I never thought you would do that, Sophia.”
A knock sounded at the door, but we kept our eyes locked on each other.
“What?”
“Can I come in?” Tom asked.
“What the fuck?” she said, throwing her hands in the air.
The door opened slowly, and he entered the room, looking around and gulping loudly.
“Sophia, I need to explain,” Tom spoke to her, approaching the bed.
“Save it, Tom. I know what I saw,” she said to him, keeping her eyes pointed at me.
“I know what you think you saw, but it’s not what happened. Kayden never woke up. He has been passed out most of the week. The only time he was up was to find his next drink. I called her to talk to him. We all work together, and they’ve been friends for years. I thought she could get through to him. I didn’t know that she would end up falling asleep in his bed,” Tom stated.
“You really think I’m going to believe that?”
“It’s the truth. I was trying to get him on track, for you, Sophia. I never thought she’d take advantage of the situation. When I arrived home from work, Kayden was already passed out cold. She showed up and went into his room. He didn’t do anything with her. He loves you and wouldn’t cheat on you,” he pleaded with Sophia.
“Thanks for telling me, Tom. Kayden and I need to discuss last night if you don’t mind,” she said.
“I am being honest with you. He needs you, Sophia,” Tom said as he stood up and moved toward the door.
I’d remained silent while Tom spoke. My eyes never left hers, conveying hurt and anguish. She dropped her head into her hands and began to cry.I had fucked everything up.
I said nothing and didn’t move to comfort her. We both did wrong, but I needed her to speak to me first.
“I was mad at you for drinking so much and pushing me away. I hate myself for running away and into the arms of another man, but you need to know what last night did to me.” She looked up at me, into me, through me. “You’d been absent and drinking. I thought you had been drinking and fucking your way through your days and nights. I’m such a whore for kissing that man in the bar.”
“Sophia, I can’t believe you’d think that of me. I’d never. I’m sorry I allowed the alcohol to consume me, become my lifeline.”
“I’m sorry, Kayden. I don’t know what else to say,” she cried into her palms.
“Sophia,” I said, moving toward her. I sat on the bed and pulled her hands away from her face. “You thought I fucked the girl in my bed, and you were upset. I’ve been acting like a total asshole.”
“You had me out of my mind. I was so worried about you, and then I found you in bed with someone else. It was an image I just couldn’t get out of my brain.”
I wiped the tears away from her face. “I will always be faithful to you. I’m yours, and you’re mine. No matter what you think you saw, I’m not a cheater. I’m a one-woman man. I will not share you either.”
“I wasn’t thinking clearly last night after having so many drinks. I’m sorry.”
“I know what that’s like, trust me,” I said with a smile. “We’ve hurt each other, Sophia. I hurt you with my drinking and not being there, and you hurt me by allowing someone else to kiss you. If it weren’t for my behavior, you wouldn’t have allowed another man to touch you.”
“Never. I should have stayed and fought with you, for you.”
“You should have hit me or yelled…anything other than running away and into the arms of another man.”
“I’ll never do that again. I have never loved another soul deeper and harder than I love you,” she said to me.
“I love you, too, Sophia,” I said, kissing her lips. I undressed and crawled under the covers with her. I needed to feel her skin against mine.
I’d never been so utterly in love with a person. I wanted her, and more importantly, I needed her. I felt that the bottle was my only friend, holding my hand, helping me through this journey. It was easy to fall back on bad habits that had been there to console me in the past. Alone in this apartment, booze became my only friend and solace. I shut Sophia out and nearly paid the ultimate price.
