Kayden: I could NEVER forget about you.
I already felt left behind, forgotten.
Me: Felt like it last night.
Kayden: I’m sorry, Sophia. I’ll make it up to you.
Me: Call me in a bit. I’m going to have some coffee, and I have things to do.
Kayden: Okay, baby doll. I’ll talk to you in a bit.
I wanted to throw my phone or slap him in the face. The anger inside me hadn’t subsided from last night.
Me: Okay. I’ll be around.
Kayden: I love you.
I knew he loved me, but I didn’t feel important anymore. He always made me feel like I was the center of his universe, a vital part of his day, but that feeling had vanished.
Me: Love you too.
I dressed, grabbed my coffee, and headed for the door. I wanted to keep myself busy today. It was a Saturday, and I hoped Kayden and I would spend much of the day Skyping. He never had a day off when we were apart, and I wanted to take advantage of every minute available. I wanted to get my errands done quickly to free up my afternoon for him.
My phone rang a couple hours later on the way to my last stop. Kayden’s name appeared on my screen, and my heart thumped in my chest like it always did when seeing his name. He hadn’t forgotten about me.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi. Whatcha been doing?” I asked.
“Listening to this fucking song,” he slurred.
Fuck! Was he drunk? My heart sank.
“Have you been drinking already?”
“A bit, but I can’t stop listening to this song. It’s so fucking mean, Sophia.”
“Jesus, really? How much have you had already?”
“Enough.” I heard “Never There” in the background.
“Fucking amazing. I can’t believe you are drinking this early, Kayden.” I closed my eyes, a sense of doom filling me. “Call me back when you get sober.” I clicked off the phone.
It was early, and he had already drunk enough for it to affect him. Was this how he handled a crisis? What more didn’t I know about Kayden—drinking alone and drinking heavily? He disappeared again. I assumed he passed out. I finished my errands and returned home.
Throughout the day, sporadic text messages popped up on my phone from Kayden, none of them making sense. He never stuck around long enough to hold a conversation; although I doubt he had the ability to form a coherent thought.
“Hey.” Suzy knocked on my bedroom door.
“Come in, Suzy.”
“Let’s go. Get ready. The girls will be here in an hour. We’re all going out,” Suzy stated firmly.
“I don’t feel like it, Suzy.” I shook my head.
“You’re not sitting here all night waiting for him. Up, come on.” She pulled my arm to get me moving.
I thought about it for a moment. I didn’t want to sit home and worry about him. He didn’t seem to worry about me. Suzy was right. I needed to get out and enjoy some time with my girls.
