All I need to do is forget he cheated on me.
Mocked me.
Forced our friends—especially Havoc, who at the time was my best friend—to choose between us.
Where is my disgust? My anger? My hatred? And why can’t I drag in a normal breath? Good God, my fingers and toes are tingly. I’m lightheaded. Like my body and brain are locked in a miscommunication. See? This is why I can’t be alone with him. Because the teenager “me” hates him, but the adult “me” doesn’t.
And not because Luke Hayden is too friggin’ gorgeous for his own good. Because this grudge I’m carrying has become an albatross. Who am I if I’m not Faith-Who-Hates-Luke? My identity became intertwined with my hostility toward him, and it became a burden too heavy to bear. And now I think this is my body’s way of telling my mind it’s time to take baby steps to let it go and finally move on.
“I’m glad you’re home.” But why is he standing so close? And why does his voice suddenly sound so intimate?
“As long as you’re happy, everything is right in the world, I guess.” Baby steps, remember?
He slashes away more space between us. “When are you going to forgive me?”
Oh, okay, we’re leaping and bounding.
Words tumble out of my face before I can stop them. “When you unbreak my heart.”
“Faith, my God, we were seventeen.”
If Luke wanted me angry, he got his wish. I flatten my hands on his chest and shove him. The big bastard doesn’t budge. “Does it matter? You killed me that day. Now get the hell out of my house.”
His hands are vises around my wrists. “You know the reason I did it.”
“Don’t care.” I try to shake loose, but he doesn’t release me. “Congratulations. You taught me to be heartless. By the way, it came in handy over the years, so thanks. Now leave.”
I’m not surprised when he doesn’t comply with my demand. What shocks me is the instant change in his demeanor. His humor and civility vanish, and he transforms into the Unholy he became while I was gone. The boy I loved, the one who stripped me raw and ripped a piece of my soul from my body, is a faded memory. In his place is Jester, and this man—this terrifying stranger—backs me up against the door and pins my hands above my head.
My stomach tightens, and my womb clenches as every part of me aches for him. Screams for him. I fist my hands to keep from wrapping my arms around his waist, to draw him closer. To resist the need to press every part of me to every enticing part of him. I squeeze my thighs together as an empty craving sends an incredible warmth rolling through me. It’s been so long—too long—since he touched me. Since someone touched me properly. We were one hell of a couple. We were young and in love, and we were so damn good together.
Until he took a hammer to my heart and broke it to pieces.
Why couldn’t he stay in the damn truck?
Instead, he had to complicate things.
Why, for the love of God, must everything about him be sexy as sin?
It’s criminal the way Jester hoods his eyes and lifts that brow. He’s studying me as if I’m some fascinating creation made just for him. And when he traces his finger along my bottom lip, I can’t help but imagine all the ways he can make my body come alive.
“Nah, you’re not heartless, Faith.” Jester’s palm is warm and heavy when he flattens it above my breasts. “I can feel how fast it’s beating. But what you are… ismine.”
I struggle again to break away from his hold, but he clamps his hand tighter around my wrists. “I’m not yours. You threw me away like garbage.”
He lowers his head, his lips a breath from mine. So close I can smell the mint gum on his breath. “Do you remember our first kiss?”
As if I can forget the day at Devil’s Peak when we slipped away from our friend group, and he ruined me for every male who came after him.
“No,” I lie.
“Yeah, you do.” He searches my face, and I know he sees the truth. “I still get hard thinking about you in that red bikini.” The man’s not lying. He grinds his hips against me, his dick steel.
I dig my nails in my palm to remind myself to stay strong as need pumps through me. “I’m not that girl anymore. You killed her.”
“Good.” He nuzzles my neck. “Because if I wanted a girl, I’d go to Sanctum and fuck a hang-around. I want you, Faith. Who you are now.”
“You can’t have me.” Seven years’ worth of bitterness laces my laughter. “I’m the one piece of Mayhem you’ll never own, Unholy.”
