My conviction nearly crumbles when his lips feather over my throat. I lock my jaw and stand so epically stiff that I’m shocked my spine doesn’t snap. But I’ll be damned if I show him anything other than indifference.
I may be exhausted from lugging around the burden of hatred, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to open my heart—or my legs—to him.
Jester’s other hand is busy, though. He inches those fingers up my bare thigh, sending a riot of sparks across every nerve in my body. “I’ve owned you since our first kiss, Fizzle.” His lips brush across mine. “And I’ll tell you a secret.” He cups my core, and I swallow a sigh as my body begs for him. “You own me, too.”
His lips crush mine. A delicious punishment for the years I avoided him. And when he forces my jaw open, and our tongues clash, it’s more than a kiss. It’s a battle of wills, flavored with regret and torment.
Good. And fuck him.
I finally work one hand free and pinch Jester’s arm. Twist the skin until he lifts his head and releases my other hand. He doesn’t react to the pain I know I caused. “That wasn’t nice.”
“We’re done here.” There’s enough ice in my tone to lower the temperature in the room.
His smirk sends a frisson of dread through me. “Nah, Fizzle. This shit between us? It just started.”
The arrogance of him.
“You lost your chance with me when you made a fool of me by sticking your dick in Megan Thomson’s mouth.”
“We’ll see.”
I close my eyes and count to ten. When I still want to wring his neck, I say a quick prayer for patience. “Jester, I’m asking you nicely to please leave me alone.”
“I’m asking you nicely to please forgive me.”
I cup his face, and oh my God, I want to forgive and forget. We were kids, and he believed he would hold me back. I get it. I do. But there were better ways for him to handle things. Also, he knew where to find me forseven years. I visited my mother at least a dozen times. He had to have known each time I was in Mayhem. An ant farts in this friggin’ town and every Unholy knows about it, so yes, he was aware whenever I was here, and not once did he knock on my mother’s door and apologize for what he did.
So screw him.
Figuratively, because as much as my body would love another go with him, my brain is making the decisions.
“No.”
He’s smirking, but there’s torment dulling the spark of humor in his golden-brown eyes. “I didn’t mean to make you this cold.”
I let out a nasty laugh. “This might shock your delicate sensibilities, but you stopped being impactful in my world the moment I turned my back on you.”
Liar.
“I truly am sorry, Faith.” Jester scrubs a hand over his face and through his hair. He’s a rumpled package of lazy seduction. “For a lot of things.”
There it is.
The actual words I ached to hear since I was seventeen.
Funny, but I thought it would be an instantaneous healing salve. A miracle cure if you will. Instead, Jester’s vulnerability is a thousand knives piercing my heart.
“Me too.” And I mean that sincerely, but it doesn’t change the tragic truth of our situation. We were an awesome couple when we teenagers, until he ruined it. The adult versions? Not a good idea. He’s too… Jester. I’m too… Faith. Together we make for an explosive, if not toxic, combination of anger and sarcasm. We’ll destroy each other. “You need to let me go.”
“I let you go once.” His tender kiss on my forehead tears me apart. “Never again.”
Miserable, I watch Jester cross the living room. He grabs my phone from where Havoc tossed it on the sofa. “What are you doing?”
“Making sure I’m always a phone call away.”
My stomach is in knots when he texts himself from my phone. He places my cell back on the cushion and walks to the door. His swagger is outrageous. Warranted, I’m sure, since I doubt there isn’t a woman with a pulse who would deny this man anything. All he needs to do is crook a finger, and panties must drop like a nasty habit.
In another life, I might have been one of those women.
