I couldn’t imagine children at the juncture where I barely saw Noth other than to fuck. I never removed the sterility spell from him and he never asked.
“You could…” Her sharp glance almost caused me to back up. “I mean, if you wanted to.”
“I’ve done a lot of work on my life to be happy as I am. This is exactly what I want, youngling. I’m not missing something by not being in a permanent relationship. I have Noth, my hobbies, politics and now I get to torture you. Do I need anything more?”
WhatwasI asking? “How did you realize you’d found what you wanted out of life?”
“I did a lot of work to clean up my long history, explore, make mistakes, and I continue to do it. No one can do it for me.”
I didn’t mean to, but the truth spilled out. “Nothing approaching permanent has ever worked out for me. Noth and I are feeling flimsy at best. I can’t practice this. It’s clear your people will never have a witch on the throne.”
“Is that what you want? The crown? I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.”
I opened my mouth to say ‘yes’ and shut it again, focusing on my exercises so my wrists didn’t snap. I really didn't know. But resolve filled me. I needed to.
When Yaya finished torturing me, I sent a note to the kitchens and roused the royal taste tester so we could have a dinner we might actually eat without Noth poking at it like it called him a Fae.
I took the rest of the day to get ready for dinner. Not like there was much else to do. I dressed carefully in a liquid black dress that made me feel beautiful. When I looked in the mirror, I still saw the miserable girl I used to be. That didn’t help this situation with Noth.
“You look pretty,” I told my reflection. I felt stupid saying it out loud. I started to braid my hair to make it more controlled and stopped. “You look pretty as you are.”
Noth was the only one who said it like that when others had only meant my skin and muscles. What was I doing? My hands shook. Yaya was right. I needed to clean up my side of the street but damn if I wasn’t scared.
Jax burst into the room with our dinner, followed by servants carrying a table and table settings. Noth’s new bodyguard kept hold of the food as Noth himself entered and took one look at me before he ordered everyone out with a feral bark.
He fell on me before I got a word out, his shadows slipping over my skin, his tongue curling into my ear.
All this for me?
My thighs loosened even though I resolved to keep them closed. But I was a bad, bad girl and wouldn’t say no to the slip of his fingers against my clit as he held myhands above my head. It was the kind of selfish I needed to work on as he expertly stole my breath with his tongue licking my mouth and his fingers plunging into my dripping pussy. He was just too good at playing my body.
I came in a mess all over his hand and sagged against his hold.
“I made you dinner,” I said as I panted, hiding my face in my arm.
He chuckled but stopped when he saw I was serious. Noth helped me put my dress to rights, cleaning between my legs so I didn’t ruin his furniture. I uncovered the favorite dishes Yaya had mentioned and he froze.
“Pumpkin?”
“Rat Face?”
He smiled at that.
“What’s going on here?”
I served him some food to work up the courage for this conversation.
“This is going to come out blunt, Rat Face, but I don’t know how else to say it and you want me to use my words.”
I had his full attention. The meal cooled on his plate. I ignored what I dished onto mine.
“I have work to do before we can start any sort of life together.”
“Your life is here with me,” he said automatically.
I would have liked more conviction in his voice. Somepart of him understood how off this was too. Noth wasn’t stupid.
“As your… what? Your bed slave? Get me the halter top and the see-through skirt now.”
