“No. He wanted to go in after him, though.”
Her eyes widened. “Does he know about everything?”
“He didn’t at the time,” he said. “But I told him about it after. Because I was so upset.”
“So, what I’m hearing is the problem isn’t that you saw Cody. It’s that you’re still upset from seeing Cody. Is that it?”
He pointed toward the row of coffees and she groaned, pushing the third glass in the row toward him.
“This one is…shit.” Lara chuckled. “I don’t remember. Try it and tell me what you think it is.”
“Cupcake me.” He pointed at the cupcakes on the kitchen counter before taking a sip of the coffee. It was lighter in color than the rest, but definitely had a noticeable flavor profile. Ben smacked his lips and took another swallow.
“I think…I think it’s almond maybe? Almond and…”
“Marzipan!” Lara shouted, setting the cupcakes down on the table amidst the scattered coffee glasses. “It’s marzipan and pistachio.”
“That is quite a mix.”
“Is it good?”
“It’s different.” He unwrapped one of the cupcakes and picked some crumbs off the bottom of the treat. “I’m upset that I’m upset. Or I’m upset that Iwasupset.”
Lara adjusted herself in the chair, folding her left leg beneath her and bending her right leg at the knee. She propped her chin up and gave him one of her basically trademarked stares. He loved Lara, but hated that look and he knew she was waiting for him to talk through whatever he’d meant by the last statement.
“I shouldn’t have stayed with him as long as I did,” he muttered. The marzipan coffee was too sweet on his tongue, and he slid the half-drank glass toward Lara.
“It’s…nothing that you can change now, Ben. No matter how hard you regret it, you can’t undo it.”
“I didn’t want anything serious with Thomas at first because I was reeling from how Cody treated me.” He scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed. “How fucked up is that? I almost missed out on him because of something completely out of his control.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I could have.”
“We don’t live in a world where that happened.” Lara gestured toward the fourth coffee. “That one has Baileys in it.”
He feigned shock. “So youdidbring me alcohol?”
“Baileys is hardly alcohol.”
He grabbed the last glass anyway, taking a grateful swallow. The liqueur didn’t do anything to soothe his nerves, but he appreciated the attempt nonetheless.
“Do you want the hard talk now?” Lara swiped her finger through the inch of frosting on one of the cupcakes and popped it into her mouth.
“I suppose.” He didn’t, but he knew he needed it.
“Cody was abusive to you, and that has no reflection on you at all. The only thing that tells anyone is Cody is a prick and you’re better off without him.”
“It says I tolerated his behavior,” he interrupted.
“It says you did what you had to do until you found a way to get out of the situation,” she corrected.
Ben dipped his chin toward his chest in defeat. His entire body ached, from the swim and the stress, and a little bit from the overwhelming nervousness that wrapped itself around him like a weighted blanket.
“I’m mad that seeing him still affected me,” he said.
“I know things with him are in your past, but they’re notthatfar in your past. Be a little nicer to my best friend, please.” She took another swipe through the cupcake frosting, and he snatched it away from her.
