“No,” he answered quickly. “It’s not.”
“Then don’t say it.” Thomas grabbed his face and jerked his chin so they were forced to make eye contact. The hurt on Thomas’s face was apparent, and Ben would have given pretty much anything to go back and erase the last ten minutes from their lives so he would have never mentioned the idea to Thomas in the first place.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Thomas said to him. “Just be honest.”
“I want you,” he rasped, leaning into Thomas’s touch.
“You can have me.” Thomas bumped their noses together, the hurt in his features softening just enough to make Ben stop wishing the sidewalk would open up and swallow him whole.
“Thomas.” Ben reached up and hooked his fingers around Thomas’s hands. He didn’t know if he was holding on or pulling closer. “Please, can I kiss you again? Like a proper kiss?”
“Yeah.” Thomas answered with a quick nod, a thousand emotions flashing through his eyes too fast for Ben to make sense of any of them. “Yeah, you c…”
Ben didn’t wait for him to say anything else. He surged forward, taking Thomas’s half open mouth in his. He kissed him like that. Different from the last time because he could feel the heat of Thomas’s tongue against his teeth, but not what he wanted because it wasn’t enough. It was nowhere near enough. Thomas’s fingers pressed harder into his cheeks, and Ben moaned, his lips parting. He drew a shocked breath when Thomas’s tongue was the first to move, sliding into his mouth with the same tentative but confident curiosity he applied to everything else he did.
When Ben returned the kiss, swirling his tongue around Thomas’s, he swallowed down the resulting moan and walked him back into the wall to get a better angle. He kissed Thomas, deeper and harder, until his cock stuck to his underwear for how slick the tip was with precum, and only then did he pull back for air. He didn’t go far, keeping their mouths pressed together with only enough space to breathe.
“Do you want to come in?” Thomas asked, a little breathless.
“Yeah. But I won’t.”
“What?”
“If you mean what you said and I mean what I said, then I want this to be more than it has been, and if I go upstairs with you, I’ll want to take you to bed.”
Thomas grinned and pressed a kiss against the corner of his mouth. “Can’t it be both?”
“Yeah, but…”
Thomas kissed him again. “It’s okay. I know what you mean.”
“Ireallywant to.” He slid his hand down between their bodies, giving Thomas’s erection a squeeze to prove his point.
Thomas’s lashes fluttered and he followed Ben’s hand down, grabbing him by the wrist. He didn’t move him away, but he didn’t let him go either.
“Let me take you out for a drink or something, then,” Thomas offered.
“You were on your way for gelato, I think, when…”
“But you’ve already had some.”
“I didn’t eat it.”
“Let me take your for a drink,” Thomas said again. “Someplace dark and quiet.”
“Mahogany wood and whiskey?” He arched a brow and watched Thomas answer with a nod.
“If you like.”
“Do you even like whiskey?” he asked.
“Sometimes. I was going for the ambiance.”
He chuckled under his breath. “Are you trying to get me someplace dark so you can feel me up under the table?”
Thomas squeezed his wrist. “I’m trying to get you somewhere quiet so I can listen to every word that comes out of your mouth.”
