“Thomas.” Ben let go of him and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking away. “It’s not like that.”
“What then?”
“I was telling her how much I like you.” Ben raised his voice a little and frowned, letting out a long breath and walking in the direction of their apartment buildings.
Thomas found himself momentarily stunned, but managed to recover and caught up with Ben before he’d reached the corner. He fell in step beside him, listening to their footsteps and the harsh cadence of Ben’s jagged breaths.
“You like me?” he asked.
“Apparently.”
“So you’ve been ignoring me?”
“I wasn’t supposed to like you.” Ben turned the corner, Thomas at his side. “That wasn’t part of the plan.”
“The agreement,” he said.
“The whatever.”
“You like me?”
Ben came to a stop and looked up. They were in front of Thomas’s apartment building. He hadn’t realized they’d walked so fast.
“I’m sorry for it,” Ben said. “I know it wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“It’s not…it’s not bad that you like me.”
“I’ve never been one for unrequited romance, Thomas.” Ben rolled his eyes and sidestepped him, leaning against the side of the building and folding his arms in front of his chest. Ben slumped down, his entire body telegraphing his defeat. Thomas would have been lying if he’d said Ben’s reaction to his own confession didn’t feel like a wound. No one had ever been upset about liking him before. Actually, no one had ever liked him before at all, besides Jennifer, and she hardly counted anymore.
“Who said it was unrequited?”
“You’re married.”
“Divorcing,” he corrected.
“And I’m on the rebound,” Ben reminded him.
“You don’t have to be,” he said. “You know, what we’ve done so far could have been a rebound thing. What happens from here out doesn’t have to be.”
“I don’t even think you know what you’re saying.” Ben gave him a tired smile.
“I’m pretty sure I know my own mind.”
“But you don’t.” Ben shoved off the wall and walked a tight circle in front of the door. “You’re…you’re not even out. You’re not even sure you like men.”
“Oh, I’m sure I like men.”
“You’re sure you likeme.”
Thomas sighed, unable to dispute it and relatively sure his interest in gay porn wouldn’t be enough to convince Ben otherwise.
“I don’t feel right asking you to be in a relationship with me when you don’t even know what that would mean,” Ben said.
“I was married for years. I know how to be in a relationship.”
“But not with a man.”
“Is it that much different?”
