I’m sorry,he wrote,I can’t thank you enough for the doors you’ve opened for me, but I can’t do this anymore.
He hit send before he could second-guess himself and circled his fingers around his phone, holding it tight against his leg.
“What?” Callahan bumped their shoulders together, and Sebastian turned to look at him. “Why?”
“I want the real thing,” he said.
“Does this mean I get to take you to a gay bar?” Jace laughed and grinned at him.
“I mean, a bar is fine. We can go to a bar.”
His phone buzzed in his hand and he startled, letting out a nervous laugh to try and downplay his skittishness. He didn’t know what would come of calling things off with Allan. It wasn’t like he could trade an online boyfriend for Remington. He didn’t even know what Remington thought of him. The one thing Sebastian did know was he wanted a chance.
He turned his phone over in his hand and read the reply.
Was it because of what I asked for? If I was going too fast we can walk it back.
He quickly tapped out a reply.
It’s not that. You were wonderful, Allan. Truly. There’s just someone in real life that I think I need to talk to, that I want to focus on.
“There’s more men to choose from at a gay bar,” Jace said, pulling Sebastian’s attention back toward the window. “Lion is good. That’s where I met Callahan.”
“I introduced you to Callahan.”
“But I met him on my own, remember?” Jace waggled his eyebrows and slid an arm around Callahan’s waist.
His phone vibrated again and he read the reply from Allan.
I never expected that I would be the only person you talked to, George. That doesn’t need to mean this ends.
Sebastian let out a breath and shifted his shoulder blades against the wall. He rolled his neck, cracking it a couple of times before giving the room another once over. Remington had ended his conversation and was staring down at his phone. Sebastian, in turn, stared down at his, the cursor blinking, waiting for him to answer.
The truth is,he typed, thinking carefully of what the truth really was,there’s someone I know, and I want to know him better, but I can’t do that while this is going on. I want something real.
Across the room, Remington looked down at his phone and frowned. He typed something quickly, then shoved his phone into the pocket and walked into the kitchen, pouring some vodka straight into a crystal tumbler.
Sebastian’s phone vibrated and he looked down, even as his heart caught and expanded in his throat. An idea settled in the back of his mind, but it couldn’t be… there was no way Allan was Remington. It was absurd, preposterous, and a dozen other synonyms Remington would know that lived out of Sebastian’s grasp.
He tore his stare away and read the message on his phone.
I could be real. I am real.
“Excuse me,” he mumbled to Jace and Callahan, who long ago had stopped paying attention to him. He bent over and collected his wine glass, then joined Remington in the kitchen, taking a deep breath and saying a prayer.
“So,” he started, the base of his glass clattering against the counter as he tried to set it down gracefully.
Remington poured the rest of his drink into his mouth, grimacing as he swallowed.
“So,” he repeated to Sebastian.
This was it. Now or never. Sebastian had been discontent with the state of his life for so long, grasping at straws to find rays of happiness in the murkiness of his days. He’d been the one who pushed Callahan after Jace and that had turned out well enough. It was time for him to take his own advice.
He set his phone on the counter beside Remington’s hand and swiped his screen so the messages lit up. Remington’s attention flickered, shifting from Sebastian’s profile down to his phone.
“You,” Remington croaked, “You’re George.”
“And you’re Allan,” he said, putting his phone into his pocket, leaving his hand tucked away to hide the tremors. “And you look very real to me.”
