“Don’t,” Gabriel told him. “Don’t be ashamed. Not with me, and not here. Not in my house, not in this bed.” Gabriel’s cock started to harden in response to Joel’s display of vulnerability.That is surprisingly unexpected.Gabriel shifted his body, trying to keep his erection from nudging against Joel.
“My mom and stepdad left as soon as I graduated. They moved back east, to Maryland where my stepdad was from. They told me to go stay with my grandma, Marilyn, you know, across the hall from you. I did for a bit, but my allergies were too bad. So I got a job, and as soon as I had a few hundred dollars, I moved out. I’ve been in my own little apartment since then.” Another tear escaped Joel's eye, but Gabriel left it, watching it slide down the porcelain skin of Joel's cheek. It caught on his cheekbone and changed course, falling toward his ear. He sniffled.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”
Another tear, and another, and another. They started to fall so freely that Gabriel wouldn't have been able to catch them all even if he had tried.
“It’s okay, Joel. You’re safe here, I promise you that.”
Joel sniffled again, and nodded his head.
“I’m tired of being alone.”
Joel's admission was so quiet, Gabriel thought he misheard. But he rolled it around in his head, taking it for what it was. A confirmation Joel trusted him, that their souls were the same, their hearts wore the same scars.
“Then don’t be,” Gabriel whispered in reply. An invitation.
Joel sucked in a quivering breath and closed the space between them, burrowing into Gabriel's chest. Gabriel wrapped his arms around Joel's delicate body and held him to the point of discomfort. Joel didn’t flinch away from him, but instead pressed in closer, and his own cock nudged against Gabriel's, which had fully hardened again. When Gabriel’s erection bobbed against Joel, he cried out, a watery and painful-sounding noise that was filled with loneliness, acceptance, and desire all balled up into one confusing emotional release.
Gabriel pressed his chin against the top of Joel's head and held him, realizing the enormity of the gift Joel had given him tonight. He closed his eyes, shifting his head to inhale the scent of Joel's hair, which smelled like the dollar store shampoo he used, tinged with sweat, and now, Gabriel's laundry detergent.
“You’re not alone anymore, Joel,” he murmured into Joel's bright red hair. He had the thought that Joel probably dyed his hair not necessarily because he liked the color, but in an attempt to shield himself from the prying eyes of the world. Joel's body shook with a sob, and Gabriel felt him nod his head in agreement.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Joel Has a Successful Date
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Joel couldn’t figure out what it was about Gabriel that made his mouth open up like a fucking uncontrollable faucet and spew shit out. He snorted at the analogy, bitterly thinking about the stupid faucet in his kitchen that brought him here in the first place. The snort caused him to choke on his tears, and he buried his head deeper into Gabriel's chest.
Gabriel soothed his back with long strokes of his fingers from neck to tailbone, and Joel didn’t miss that the fingers never lifted from his skin. Gabriel made sure to stay in constant physical contact, and fuck, did Joel appreciate it. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to regain some semblance of control over his emotions by forcing himself to focus on the constant and steady drift of Gabriel's fingertips.
Joel found his breath returning to normal, and his tears were finally slowing. Gabriel kissed the top of his head, the bright red strands sweaty and no doubt matted. For a fleeting moment, Joel hated that his hair wasn’t its natural color.
He was so tired. Tired of fighting, and struggling, and being alone. But mostly, he was tired of hiding. He'd pretended for years that everything he did, from dyeing his hair to rarely dating, was based solely on his personal preferences. But in this raw and naked moment, held by Gabriel and feeling like nothing could possibly hurt him ever again, Joel at last admitted to himself that he'd been lying to himself for years. All Joel did was hide.
He hid behind his colorful hair, and also behind his ostentatious best friend. Joel hid deep inside his solitude, as though it was a fortress that would keep him safe, but all it did was leave him painfully alone. Joel hid out of fear, and also what he thought was the necessity of self-preservation, and he was thoroughly sick of it. One taste of Gabriel and he didn't want to be alone or hide any more.
“Let me get you washed up, Little Red.”
Gabriel's voice cut through the silence, and Joel wiped his cheeks dry against Gabriel's chest, then nodded.
Gabriel pulled both of them upright in the bed, smoothed Joel's hair off his face, and tucked the long locks behind his ears. He wiped Joel’s cheeks with his thumbs, and pressed a kiss against Joel's forehead. Gabriel untangled their legs and stood, holding his hand out for Joel. With a deep breath, Joel took Gabriel's hand, and let him pull him toward the en suite.
Joel stood naked in the doorway, toes on the cold tiles, as Gabriel walked across the bathroom as confident in his nakedness as if he had been fully dressed in a three-piece suit. Joel eyed him as Gabriel leaned into the shower, turning the water on warm and moving his hand beneath the spray to make sure it was the right temperature. When Gabriel was satisfied, he reached behind him, extending his hand toward Joel, so Joel shuffled across the bathroom floor, entwining his fingers with Gabriel's.
Gabriel tugged him forward, and they both stepped into the shower. Gabriel's arms wrapped around Joel from behind and slid slowly down his ribcage, to his waist, before settling on his hips. Gabriel gave him a squeeze before reaching to the cubby in the shower to remove a loofah and soap.
Joel cupped his hands together, filled them with water, and then splashed his face. His eyes were red and swollen from his earlier meltdown. It was so embarrassing to come and then cry.
He dropped his chin to his chest, and the soapy loofah touched his shoulder from behind. Gabriel soaped his entire back, kneeling down to use a combination of his hands and the loofah to clean down the length of Joel's legs. He tapped Joel's right foot and Joel lifted it, and Gabriel cleaned it, repeating the process on the left side. Joel turned his back to the spray, letting it rinse the soap away, as Gabriel worked his way back up the front of Joel's legs. He washed the dried cum from Joel's belly, and the sweat from his armpits. Gabriel dropped the loofah and dug his fingers into Joel's neck, releasing all the tension he was stockpiling there.
“Rinse,” Gabriel told him, and he turned again to face the spray. Gabriel shifted and picked up the sponge, then quickly washed himself. Joel stepped aside so Gabriel could rinse, and then he turned the water off, stepping out and getting a towel. Joel dried himself, keeping a watchful eye on Gabriel as he did the same. They moved around the bathroom easily, without getting in each other’s way, and Joel was at ease, not only in the space, but in his own body. He wasn't sure if he could think of a time when he'd been more comfortable, or at home. It was as if he belonged here, in this beautiful condo, with Gabriel.
