“It’s just...it’s just not what people do, Gabriel.” Joel was emphatic, and Gabriel could barely suppress a laugh.
“It’s whatIdo, Joel. Take the key. I do have to go into the office for a while today, so you’ll need it if you intend to go out.” Gabriel turned to the sink and rinsed his mug out and dried it before returning it to a cabinet above the coffee maker.
“What do you...what do you do for work?” Joel spoke up, but he sounded timid.
Gabriel wondered what had made the real Joel go back into hiding.Take it easy,he told himself.Take it slow. For God’s sake, don't scare him off.
“I’m an attorney,” Gabriel said. “I run one of the largest firms in Los Angeles County. Hunter, Greene and McAllister. I founded it with two friends from law school about ten years ago.”
“Oh,” was all Joel had in reply to that. Gabriel wasn’t sure what response he’d been expecting, but he’d expected more than that.
“Oh?” Gabriel repeated, laughing softly at Joel's surprise and chagrin.
“That’s super impressive,” Joel said, looking flustered. “I work in a bookstore.”
“You’re still young,” Gabriel mused. “You can do anything you want to, Joel. Don’t sell yourself short.” Joel shook his head in disagreement. Gabriel rounded the corner of the breakfast bar and put his hand on Joel’s shoulder, causing him to start from the contact and look up. Gabriel sucked in a breath, already having forgotten how unimaginably blue Joel’s eyes were.
“Anything, Joel. I promise, you can do anything.”
Joel blinked at him, mouth slightly agape. Gabriel squeezed his shoulder before dropping his hand and forming it into a fist. He quickly tucked it away into the pocket of his slacks. He pulled out his wallet and removed a business card, placing it on the counter in front of Joel.
“Like I said, Joel. I need to go into the office for a while, but here’s my cell phone number. You can call me if you need anything. There’s a house phone in the living room if you need it.” Gabriel tucked his wallet away and took one last look at Joel before offering a goodbye and heading down the hall to the front door.
Gabriel’s breaths didn’t feel deep enough, as if he was inhaling air, yet none of it was reaching his lungs. Joel was so real now, and so close–almost too close. As he fled his own condo, he pulled the door closed behind him, leaning back against it and finally sucking in a lungful of air that didn’t smell like the boy he had fallen in love with.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Joel Gets a Push from Athena
Joel finished his coffee and washed the mug, then put it away in the cabinet above the coffee maker. For lack of any better options, he decided to go spend some time in the bedroom he'd been given. Joel had seen some good records when he was on the phone with Athena, and he wouldn't mind listening to some Tom Petty right now so he could think.
As the music started to drift through the bedroom, Joel laid down on the floor and spread out like a starfish, digging his fingers into the plush, beige carpet. He rubbed the fibers between his fingertips, and it was another harsh reminder of what a shit show his life currently was. The carpet in Joel's apartment was that shitty carpet in churches and kindergarten classrooms. No body to it. No life, no comfort in any way. Joel didn't even like walking barefoot in his apartment half the time, but he would easily and without second thought rub his entire naked body across this floor. He straightened his fingers and smoothed the indentations he had made as the next song on the album began to play. Joel smiled and started to hum along. This one about the wildflowers had always been one of his favorites.
Joel took a deep breath.Stop avoiding the issue at hand, stupid.The issue at hand being Gabriel. Gabriel Hunter, according to his business card.
The whole thing this morning, with Gabriel walking in on him, should have been terrifying and awkward, or at least left Joel feeling unsafe. But it had done none of those things. In fact, Joel had jerked off again minutes later thinking about it. Was he so starved for attention that he’d turned to exhibitionism? Should he start going to some of the clubs off Hollywood Boulevard that had seedy side doors and play lofts upstairs to get his rocks off? No. No, that wasn't it. The idea of any stranger seeing him wasn't what turned him on. It was Gabriel. Something about Gabriel himself.
Joel had come to beg a kindness from his grandmother, a blood relation, and she hadn't afforded him even the slightest inkling of common decency. What he had gotten instead was the unsolicited kindness of a stranger. Joel was leery of Gabriel's intentions, though, because again, Joel’s family, the people who weresupposedto help him, had abandoned him, and Joel couldn't understand why someone who wasn't beholden to him would do anything to benefit him.
He didn't know much about Gabriel, so Joel was having a hard time trying to figure out what his intentions toward him were. He knew Gabriel Hunter lived alone, had no cats, but did have amazing taste in music. He was handsome and he wanted to help Joel for unknown reasons.
Gabriel wanted him to stay.
And on top of all that, there was no mistaking the flare of lust Joel had seen in Gabriel's eyes this morning. Joel had tried to explain it away and convince himself he was imagining it. But after the way Gabriel had looked at him and spoken to him, Joel had to admit he'd seen genuine interest in Gabriel’s eyes, although he still didn't understand why it was there.
So what if he's interested?Joel's self-deprecating inner monologue chimed in.Even if he is now, he won't be once he gets to know you. You'll disappoint him too.
Yeah, well… that might or might not be true. But in the meantime, was there any harm in accepting Gabriel’s help? Even when he’d lived at home, he’d always been on his own. His stepdad and mom had made it abundantly clear they had no interest in raising a quiet, gay child. The two of them had been ready to flee to Maryland as soon as his mother stopped being legally responsible for Joel. When he thought back on it now, Joel was surprised he’d continued to grow through his teen years, almost surprised that he hadn’t physically wilted from the lack of love and attention. But he’d grown, and managed his life fine on his own with no help from anyone.
Maybe this time he could allow himself to take help that was offered. Heneededto allow himself this help. Joel didn't have anything to offer Gabriel, but Gabriel hadn't asked for anything from Joel, had he? The only thing he'd asked for was for Joel to stay.
Joel pushed himself up to a sitting position. He needed to make the best of this. Reaching for his phone, he dialed Athena. It rang once before she picked up.
“Yes, Baby J. Fuck the handsome stranger. Love you, bye!” And the call clicked off.
Joel dialed again and the ring was cut off mid -tone as Athena answered again.
“Theenie, don't hang up on me!” he shouted at her.
