She pushed a hand through her hair. “Zane, I appreciate your explanation of what happened there, and also of what happened after we kissed.” She grunted in frustration. “It was so long ago. I want to move past it, but it keeps plaguing me. And not just that. You’ve been distant for a very long time. I’ve been distant too. I don’t even know if we can figure out how to…” she shrugged, “how to be normal.”
The beginnings of a smile danced across his lips. “I don’t want to be normal with you.” He laughed and stepped toward her. “I don’t know if that’s possible. You’re on a higher plane than normal, Mabel.”
A higher plane?Her whole body tingled. She fought for something her mind could grab on to, a way to explain what was in her heart. If only there was a guarantee that she could say what she felt and he wouldn’t run. That he wouldn’t reject her again.
He reached her then and touched the crook of her elbow. His hand was warm through her light sweater. “What do you want?” His voice was tender. “If I could do anything for you rightnow, what would it be?”
Erase the pain of all these years.Give me the courage to tell you how I feel.
She searched his face. “You know that I feel more for you than just friendship.”
He nodded.
Sliding her arms around his waist, she stepped even closer. She tipped her head back to see his face. “But it’s like when you get a burn on your skin and it scars. It’s always there. It’s like you want to forget about it, and you almost can, but when it catches your eye, that silvery white scar, you suddenly remember everything all over again.”
“And it affects what you do.” He softly slid a finger along her jaw. “I really hurt you. I didn’t respond well when you put your heart out there, and that hurt you.” He swallowed hard. “Trauma. It was traumatic.”
“Yes, it did hurt. Plus, my mom got sick right after, so everything became jumbled together. It all hurt so badly. I don’t know if I feel ready to… Every time I think about you, I wonder if I can trust you not to change again.”
“Can we start slow? I want to prove to you that I won’t run away again.”
She reached up and touched his cheekbone, right below the black eye. “I guess that’s what you can do for me. Can we start by treating each other like good friends would? Because we haven’t even been doing that for a very long time.” She released a breath. “I want to figure out a way to be near you without all the old baggage being in the way.”
“I can try to do that, yes. I do care about you, and I haven’t been acting like it.” His face darkened. “But what about the good doctor?”
“Dallin? We’re not dating.”
“Hm.”
“You don’t believe me.” Her statement hung stale in the air.
“The vibe you two give off? Definitely not just friends.”
“Initially, I was trying to move on from you. And he’s a nice guy.” She found a smile and shook her head. “I couldn’t wait any longer for you because it felt like a fool’s errand. But, Zane.” She licked her lips. “I don’t feel for him what I feel for you.”
He gazed at her as if trying to read her thoughts. “So what do we do now?”
“First this.” She tugged him to her, the hug filling her. Tears stung her eyes. Being close to him was like aloe on her burns. Because even though they’d scarred over long ago, their vulnerability just now felt like a reopening of everything that hurt. “And second? Let’s start this project for Mack. I can’t say I mind getting to spend a lot more time with you doing this.”
He held her a bit longer and then broke the hug. “Getting to be around you? That’s the only reason I said yes.” Drawing his mouth up tight, he gave a nod. “Are you driving, or am I?”
She huffed out a breath. “I’ve seen you drive that ambulance. I’m driving.”
“It’s anambulance, Mabel. I’m supposed to drive fast.” His relaxed grin did something jittery to her insides. “Besides, Whitey’s the one who’s usually driving.”
“Well, I’ve seen you drive the fire truck. And I know that’s you.”
“It’s afire truck. You can’t be serious right now.” His baritone laugh tumbled out. “I’m a good driver.”
They reached the City Hall front entrance, and he swung the door open for her.
“I didn’t say you weren’t a good driver. Just that I’ve seen your driving, so I’ll be the one driving today.”
He shook his head and let out a breath. “Fine. I don’t care. But does this mean that you trust me with the data recording?”
Her eyes grew big, and her smile was a straight line. “Oh. Right.”
He shot her a look. “Yes, little miss. You can’t do both.”
