Mabel glanced over at Zane as he sat at a city office laptop in City Hall, looking over the map she’d been working on for…a while. She stress-ate through her bag of candy peach rings, the crusty sugar giving her something to focus on.
She’d offered them to Zane and he’d shaken his head. Perhaps she should offer him the chocolate she had in her bag since he probably liked something of more substance in his treat life. But he didn’t seem to be in the mood. Or maybe he didn’t even have much of a treat life, if one perusal of his physique was any indication.
What should she say? Sorry…again…for getting him in a tussle…again.
Any words that came to mind seemed inadequate.
“We just need to fill in some coordinates that Mack added, and then we should be good to go.” Zane didn’t look at her, and his tone was formal.
Yeah. That part about spending all of her non-nursing school hours driving around in a truck with Zane as they recorded every bit of data throughout the whole area? Thanks for that, Mack.
“How do you feel about this assignment from Mack?” she asked.
Zane gritted his teeth and shut down the program before turning to her. The red circle around his eye had turned a mean purple. “He needs this survey done before he can build the water tower, which is planned for the spring. But the state won’t approve it until we’ve done our job. Why do you think he asked us?”
He swiveled in the office chair while he leaned back, his fingers threaded behind his head. “It’s because we don’t have families we’re trying to support and spend time with. Everyone else is attached. There is no one else to ask.” His gaze roamed over her wildly, and his tone softened.
“So that’s all this is?” Her neck grew warm. “Two people working together to speed up a project.” There were those walls again. They were coming up nicely now to protect her from Zane’s flippancy.
He let out a breath and closed the laptop. “I don’t mind doing it. But I think it’s best to get this done and move on with our lives.” Zane offered a grin, but it was hollow.
“Yeah, I agree.” Tension settled in her bones. If he was playing it cool and keeping his distance, then she had to as well. But they still had to address something. “Except moving on is not what Mack or the rest of KNO have been wanting, is it?”
“Those friends of ours are something else.” His face flushed a little, and he straightened, bringing his hands to his sides.
“They’re the worst,” she said with a laugh. It wasn’t genuine, but she could pretend to be easy breezy if he was. “I mean, it’s like they feel pity for us that neither of us has a special someone, and they’re thinking, ‘Hey, he’s still single. She’s still single. How convenient.’”
He just shook his head.
She took a deep breath. There was no way she could continue being in the same room with him, so near to him, without saying more. She’d burst if she didn’t. “Can we talk about what’s been going on?”
The energy between them expanded as he hesitated but then seemed to lose his resolve. “What’s been going on is I’ve cared about you for a long time, and it’s seemed at times that you felt the same way.” His gaze went to his lap. “But there’s been a lot of water underthis bridge, Mabel. I made a decision after Jamaica that I needed to move on with my life.”
“Move on with your life?” Her heart began to pound. “After you dragged me out of our best friend’s wedding and then clammed up like I was the one to hurt you?”
He stared at the floor. “That was a mistake. It was unfair to everyone there.”
“So you’re never going to tell me what that was all about?”
“Mabel, it was…I was feeling stuff, and everything came to the surface. I wasn’t sure if I was just caught up in the moment or what. I didn’t think it was fair to you when I didn’t know how you were feeling. Then you went stone-cold on me for the rest of the trip and ever since then. And you’ve got the anesthesiologist in your life now.”
Her chest seized. She didn’t know what to make of this. And he’d said it with such finality. All these years of assumptions, and now this? And Dallin Conforth wasn’t in her life…not really. He was only a distraction.
“You also went stone cold onme. I felt like I did all those years ago when I put my heart out on the line for you, and you rejected it. You rejected my kiss. You rejected me.”
His eyes held horror. “In the ninth grade? Mabel, I…I didn’t reject you. I was completely unprepared for your words and the kiss, and I didn’t know how to respond. I felt…inadequate. And then as I was sorting things out, as an immature kid, your mom—” He stopped himself. “I kept trying to figure things out from there. But then it seemed too late and everything changed. I figured with what happened with your mom that you were no longer interested.”
Her mom. The feelings surrounding her death…she wasn’t prepared for their sudden appearance.
This was all too much.
She licked her lips and stood from her chair, grabbing her lanyard keychain. “We’re losing the light. We need to get started.”
She was a coward. She’d longed for this…an actual conversation with the man she loved. But he was angry. Everything about him looked to be in turmoil, and she didn’t think she could bear another rejection from him.
“Mabel, please, can we figure this out?” His chair squeaked as he stood from it.
She spun around right before reaching the door. “I’ve cared about you for a long time too. But we’ve been playing this game for too long. I also decided to move on after Jamaica because that whole thing messed with me.”
