“You mean when the band broke up.”
He swallows thickly. “Yeah.”
I turn to Arun. “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”
He smirks at my bluntness and takes a sip of his water. “Disappointed?”
I haven’t seen him since our day at the driving range. He tried calling me the following day, but I sent him to voicemail. He didn’t leave one.
“No. Just an observation.” I look at Nikolai. “By the way, Jane said she was heading out for drinks.”
The couch might as well have been on fire by how fast Nikolai hops up and heads upstairs. Jane might’ve been fine leaving for the night without saying goodbye but guess the same can’t be said for him.
He’s in deep.
“So did you guys have a meeting or something?” I ask Arun. “Nikolai said I could come over at seven, so if you still had business to do, you might need to reschedule.” I don’t offer to step outside and let them finish, and Arun doesn’t seem surprised by it.
He chuckles, shaking his head. “We actually both wanted to talk to you.”
“We?” What the hell is this?
My palms start to sweat, not having prepared for this. I thought I would just be shooting the shit with my best friend tonight. Why the hell does Arun need to be here for that, and what do they have to talk about with me?
I open my mouth to demand answers as Nikolai sweeps back in the room. A small lipstick stain is smudged across the corner of his mouth. “What’d I miss?” he asks lightly.
I cross my arms and lean back in the chair. “I don’t know, you tell me. What is it exactly that you and Arun want to talk to me about?”
Nikolai immediately holds his hands up as he takes his seat again. “It’s nothing bad, I promise! But, uh, Walker told me you guys talked.”
A blink is all the surprise I allow either of them to see. It’s not like our conversation was necessarily a secret, but I hadn’t mentioned that I was reaching out to him to Nikolai or anyone besides Penny. “Did he?” is all I say.
Hesitant excitement fills Nikolai’s baby blues as he leans forward. “Yeah, and he said it went good. Neither of you punched each other at least,” he chuckles.
Arun rubs his forehead.
“No violence was involved,” I confirm.
“Well, since that went well, it got me thinking a lot.”
“Scary shit.”
He flips me off but isn’t deterred. “I love the music I created for this solo project, and I’m proud of it as a whole, but I just…I just don’t love it the way I loved making music with the band.” Lines mar his forehead as his tone turns serious. “I’ve been having doubts for a while about it, but touring on my own has only confirmed what I’ve been worried about.”
“And what’s that?”
“That I don’t want to create music if it’s not with you, and Walker, and Hayden.” His confession hangs heavy in the air. “It’s not the same. It doesn’t feel right.”
There’s a twisting in my gut as I process what he’s saying. What I think he’s getting at. And it pisses me off that he’s garnered some sort of hope after Walker and I talked, just for him to be let down again.
It’s over.
It’s been over.
“You have a solo contract,” I argue. “Didn’t you say you have three albums contracted?”
Nikolai glances at Arun. “Jane made sure there were some…loopholes in my contract. In the case that we could all reconnect and wanted to make music together again.”
I don’t believe what I’m hearing. He’s really thought this through. Apparently Jane did too.
