He rolls his eyes and scrubs a hand across his jaw. “Jesus, man. I followed you out here to talk to you, not fight. You looked troubled when you stepped out here.” He then adds, “More troubled than usual.”
I brush it off. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“You sure?”
I could tell him. He was there while I was in the foster home with Penny. He’d remember her.
But do we share shit like that anymore? We haven’t in so long that I’m not sure I know how.
“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “Uh, things obviously seem to be going well with?—”
The door swings open and out pops a short blonde dressed in a flowy orange dress. Hayden’s face completely changes as Carter steps outside, and he beckons her under his arm. “I didn’t know where you went,” she says to Hayden and smiles at me as she leans into his side. He wraps a protective arm around her shoulder. Both of them instantly relax into each other, as if their bodies are trying to become one, and I tear my gaze away.
Seeing their comfort with one another, the safety they have between the two of them, feels like nails on a chalkboard. I shiver and fist my hands in my pockets.
It shouldn’t feel like this.
I should be happy for them.
For my best friend.
Why can’t I?
What’s so wrong with me that all I can feel is jealousy when I see the people around me find their partners and leave me behind?
“How have you been, Reid?” Carter’s voice is soft and delicate, barely able to be heard over the rain. Her hazeleyes are full of warmth as she looks at me, not an ounce of cool reservation like her fiancée.
“Fine. How’s your photography going?”
She smiles brightly. “It’s been great. I got invited to shoot the mainstage for a huge festival over in the Netherlands next month.”
Hayden places a gentle kiss to the top of her head as his back straightens with pride.
“Congratulations.” The word sounds more contrived than I intended, but she doesn’t seem to notice. I like Carter. Always have. She’s soft-spoken but not weak. And seeing her flourish after she got out from underneath her shithead of an ex-boyfriend genuinely made me proud of her.
Plus, after I punched him on her behalf, she warmed up to me more.
“Thank you,” she says. “Are you guys coming back inside?”
“We were just catching up,” I answer for the both of us.
Carter glances up at Hayden. “Did you catch him up on the bachelor party stuff?”
His tattooed hand tightens around her waist. By the way he averts his attention elsewhere, I’d say he didn’t want her bringing that up in front of me.
A dull razor to the naked eye would’ve hurt less than the idea that I might not be included in said wedding plans.
What the fuck did I expect, though?
Hayden clears his throat. “We didn’t get that far.”
Carter chews on the inside of her cheek as she looks down at her feet.
No, we most certainly didn’t.
“Is my invitation going to get lost in the mail to that as well?” I ask, words as razor sharp as the daggers I feel digging into my gut.
“Don’t start, man,” Hayden sighs like this is an inconvenience. Like I’m starting a fight over nothing. And for once, I don’t think I am.
