“We’ll see about that. Now, give me your keys. I’m driving.”
I give her a strange look. “You wanna drive us home?”
She flexes her hand, demanding the keys. I finally toss them to her. “I want to go somewhere first.”
“What are you up to?”
“You’ll see.”
She drivesus to the overpass looking over the beach. The same spot we came to all those months ago. We get out and sit on the same rocks, side by side, facing the ocean.
It’s chilly out, for LA at least, which means the sand below is free from any sunbathers and swimmers. A few brave surfers paddle around on the small waves, looking like small dots in the distance.
Penny pulls her jean jacket tight against her chest, and I wrap my arm around her, wishing I had a blanket in the car. “You sure you wanna sit out here?”
She has a dreamy look on her face as she watches the waves roll in. “It’s worth it being cold for a little bit. I feel like we haven’t gotten a chance to just relax lately. We need this.”
“Fair enough.” We sit in comfortable silence, listening to the ocean and watching as the sun starts to fall.
Finally, Aspen says, “What do you think Gina and Patrick would have to say if they saw us now?”
I freeze at the mention of our foster parents. “I don’t know. Maybe we should go pay them a visit.”
Her eyes grow big, until she realizes I’m kidding. We both laugh and turn back toward the water.
“I don’t really give a fuck what they’d say. They probably don’t even remember us, honestly.”
“You don’t think so?”
I shrug. I guess I never really cared enough to think about it.
Aspen lays her head on my shoulder. “Since I talked to Linda, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. I’ve been wondering, if you’d ever want to, I just wanted to let you know that I’d go with you.” She picks at the seam on her jeans. “If you’d ever want to go back and visit your Mother’s grave again, I mean.”
Her offer doesn’t take me by surprise, but the fact that she’s thought about it has. “I don’t really…I appreciate that. I really do. But I don’t care to ever go and see it again. Her, my father, Gina, Patrick…they’re all in the past.” I’ve spent so long burying it all down, running from it, and I’m finally ready to let it all go. To move on. “I don’t want to give the past any more power over me, or us.” I cup her jaw, moving her head so I can look into her eyes as I say, “Not when I have a future I’m finally excited for.”
The blue in her eyes is more mesmerizing than the blue of the ocean beyond. This is one I want to sink into and live in forever.
“Penny, you…you make me want to remember everything. Remember it all. The good days and the shitty ones too, because if it hadn’t been for any of those days where I didn’t even want to keep going, I wouldn’t have met you. And for the same fucked up reason, I’m grateful for your dark days and everyone that let you down, because it brought you to me.”
Tears threaten to spill over onto her cheeks and I ready my hand to brush them away.
“It might make me selfish,” I continue. “Fuck, it definitely does because why would I be grateful for any hurt you’ve felt in this life? But I am, because it’s you and me. When everything fell apart in our lives, it was you and me. And now all these years later, it’s you and me again. I’m so sorry I ever tried to forget it all. Forget you. You were never a painful memory or something I wanted to forget.”
Her face blurs and I blink away tears of my own. They sting, the feeling unfamiliar and uncomfortable, but I push on, needing to tell her. Needing her to know everything I’m feeling.
“You are my rock. My patience. My fuckingeverything. And I never want to live another day without you by my side. I love you, Aspen Andersen. And I want you to marry me.” I didn’t plan on doing this here, now, but I need to say it more than I need another breath.
Sobs wrack through her entire body, mirroring the shaking of my own.
“I don’t have a ring right now, and I’m sorry. I’ll get the best fucking ring you could ever dream, but I needed to tell you now.” Couldn’t waste another minute without it. “Marry me…please.”
“That’s not a question.” She smiles through her tears. “You need to ask if I’ll marry you.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I’m telling you to marry me.”
“Stubborn asshole,” she laughs, the sound sweeter than anything I’ll ever deserve.
“And yours forever, if you’ll be mine. Even though you already are.”
