I didn’t know what she was talking about, but right now I didn’t care. Looking down at the bowl of chicken soup, I felt the strangest combination of hungry and slightly nauseous. Maybe my blood sugar was low from not eating all day.
I crumbled up some saltine crackers into the steaming bowl of soup and dipped my spoon in. Bringing some broth to my lips, I sipped it, swallowing it down and waiting to see if my stomach rebelled.
It didn’t, so I breathed a sigh of relief and started eating.
“You know, I was thinking today that we could rent the ballroom of the Hartford Hotel for your reception,” my mother said, bringing up the last thing I wanted to think about right now as my heart ached for Butch.
“Maybe,” I mumbled unenthusiastically without looking up from my soup. I started to eat more quickly, telling myself that I would excuse myself as soon as I was finished and go back to my room.
“Come on, Sabrina. You need to get more involved in the planning. Next spring will be here before we know it and planning an event this big takes way longer than you may realize.”
“How big?” I asked, finally looking up at her. I didn’t want to have to put on a show for a bunch of people that I didn’t know.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said flippantly, cutting into her chicken breast. “Maybe four hundred once both sides create their guest lists.”
I gaped at her, open-mouthed.Four hundred? I didn’t even know that many people, much less want to invite them to my wedding.
But of course, it was hardly about me at all. This was just another one of my parents’ social events. Still, I had to try to get that cut down a little.
“Can’t we make it smaller?” I asked, but I could tell immediately that she wasn’t going to go for it. Her lips pursed together until they formed a thin line and she stiffened.
“Smaller?” she repeated, her tone of voice suggesting that I’d asked her to commit a great sin. I supposed that in her eyes, I had. “That’s only two hundred people on each side. It’s already going to be hard to narrow our list down to that. There’s no way we could do less.”
I couldn’t even pretend to be surprised. Turning back to my food, I started to take another bite. It was halfway to my mouth when the nausea I had been experiencing earlier made its ugly appearance.
I lurched from the table as my gag reflex started acting up, preparing to expel every bite I had just eaten. Doing so quickly to avoid the awkward conversation had been a big mistake, as it seemed to have upset my stomach even more.
My gut churned as I raced across the dining room and living room, heading for the bathroom. I made it just in time to lose my dinner into the toilet.
My body was tense as I heaved, and my throat burned. My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes, but that was okay. I didn’t want to see what was happening anyway.
It all happened so quickly that I was finished by the time my mom came into the bathroom after me. I was once again splashing water on my face, eager to go upstairs and brush my teeth.
“Are you okay?” she asked, placing a comforting hand on my back.
Actually, I felt a lot better, the nausea letting up completely for the first time all day. Despite vomiting, I felt like I could eat, but I didn’t dare tempt it again.
“I think so,” I said.
“Maybe it’s the flu. You’ll need to rest. A fever is sure to come.”
Maybe she was right. Every other time I’d had a stomach bug, it came with a fever, chills, and body aches. I didn’t have any of those symptoms yet. My hand went to my stomach as another possibility occurred to me.
But that couldn’t be it…
I used the birth control shot. The chances of being pregnant were so small…
Still, as I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my own reflection, I couldn’t shake the idea. My mom was talking, but her words were just static in my ears. My entire being was focused on the idea of being pregnant. It made so much sense, based on my symptoms.
I needed to find out for sure.
* * *
I stood in the living room, staring out the window while I ate crackers one at a time. They were the only food I could keep down, but only if I didn’t have too many. My damn stomach was still sensitive.
My mom had fussed over me last night after I threw up, and I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t enjoy her attention. She wasn’t always the most maternal person, but when I was sick, she came through.
I still needed to take a pregnancy test. I needed to talk to someone about this or I would have gone crazy, so I called Lacey this morning. She insisted on bringing the tests to me this afternoon while my mom was out of the house. So for the first time ever, I cancelled my shift at the soup kitchen, hoping that Sean would be able to get someone else to come in. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to stomach the smell of cooking food anyway.
