‘Good idea,’ says Liam. ‘I’d love some Prosecco.’
It’s as though the word ‘Prosecco’ starts off a chain reaction.
‘Three!’ bellows Tash from behind, suddenly awake and upright. ‘I’ll have three. And Kev will have…’
‘I’ll have a beer, thanks, Connie,’ says Sister Kevin politely. ‘Just one beer. Because I’m only one person.’
He is met with silence.
‘What?’ we hear him say to Tash. ‘What have I done? Why are you looking at me like that?’
Oh. My. God. My heart is in my mouth. Ged, Liam and I exchange a fearful look. Tash will go apeshit at that comment. We have learned from experience that her reaction to drink-shaming can be somewhat violent. The best thing we can do is not turn around and draw attention to it.
The frosty silence continues.
‘Who’s ordering Prosecco?’ Cherry sits up straight. ‘You know I can’t have any.’ She has awoken looking furious. And like she needs to take it out on someone. She brushes her flaming-red hair from her tear-stained face.
Where do I go with this?
‘Does this mean she’s expecting us to have a non-alcoholic pre-moon?’ hisses Ged.
‘We’ll get our own,’ says Big Mand. She and Big Sue are still clearly annoyed with Ged and Liam over the accidental outing. ‘No offence, Cherry, babes, but we need a drink. Especially after what’s happened.’
Ged twists in his seat to peer through the gap. ‘For the love of God. Will this blame gamenever end?’
Even I gasp in surprise. This is very out of character for Ged. He has clearly snapped. But before we get to hear the rest of what he has to say, we are interrupted by the jolly flight attendant from before.
He smiles down at Ged and Liam. ‘We have two complimentary seats available in first class for you.’
Liam squeals in delight. ‘Oh! Thank you, you glorious man.’
The attendant blows him a flirty air kiss. This is great. It means they can drink cocktails galore and be as openly joyful as they please, without the risk of upsetting Cherry.
‘Watch out,’ booms Big Mand. ‘Or he’lloutyou to all the passengers.’
Ged is like lightning, spinning around. ‘For the last time. We did not out you and Big Sue on purpose. We’d never do that.’
The smile on the flight attendant’s face drops immediately as he gasps in horror. ‘You outed them? As inout out?’
‘Yes,’ interjects Big Sue in a low voice. ‘And now my own family is barely speaking to me. They think I’ve hidden it from them on purpose. We’re all very hurt.’
‘Ooh. I can imagine.’ He drops down to speak to Big Sue and Big Mand. He makes namaste hands. ‘I see you. I hear you. Same thing happened to me. It’s awful, isn’t it?’
Big Mand and Big Sue nod glumly.
‘Here. You have the first-class seats,’ he says. ‘You obviously need them more. Follow me.’
We watch open-mouthed as Big Sue and Big Mand follow him down the aisle and disappear behind the curtain.
‘What the fuck just happened?’ screeches Liam. ‘Did they just steal our upgrades?’
‘At least I won’t have to see them drinking Prosecco,’ says Cherry. ‘And it’ll be free for them in first class, whereas they take your eyes out for it here in cattle class.’
‘It’s okay, Cherry. I’ll not drink either,’ I say, fully aware of the resentment in her voice.
‘Thanks, Connie, hun. I’ll just have a large gin and tonic but without the lemon or the gin, because of the bay… bay… bay…’ Cherry bursts into tears.
The cabin crew fly straight back over to see what the matter is.
