‘Not really,’ I say.
‘Not really? What does that mean?’
‘It was more of a feeling,’ I say.
Big Sue lets out an exasperated groan. ‘You felt him? As in, you could feel his presence? Like a ghost?’
Liberty snorts with laughter. ‘Fucking useless, Connie. Absolutely fucking useless.’
She’s not entirely wrong. I had my chance, and I messed it up. I will spend the remainder of the flight brushing up on my army surveillance speak as punishment.
‘I’ll go,’ says Liberty, springing out of her seat. ‘What’s the point of having pretty privilege if you don’t use it? After all, you’re not the only one who has unfinished business with him.’
‘How long are you going to dine out on the one blooming dance you had with Luke? One sensual dance does not a relationship make,’ booms Big Mand.
Before any of us can stop her, Liberty barges past me and Big Sue, straight to first class as though she owns the place, and disappears behind the curtain. Ged is right. It’s all about confidence. You’ve got to admire that about her.
We sit down and wait. Surely she will be ejected as quickly as I was.
We wait.
And we wait.
‘She’s not coming back, is she?’ I say gloomily, leaning round to face Big Sue. She has lost interest and has fallen asleep. My eyes travel the row. All the Dollz are flat out. If only I didn’t have so much to worry about, I’d join them.
* * *
After watching the curtain for three hours, and with no sign of Liberty returning, I’ve suddenly lost all interest in an on-board confirmation of Luke. Liberty is welcome to him, if it means he leaves me alone. Besides, Ged and Liam have been bickering on and off about everyone and everything, including what exactly Kylie Minogue means when she sings ‘Padam Padam’. Their fun, last-minute getaway to Las Vegas now seems rash, in light of the amount of emotional baggage all of their guests have brought with them.
‘And we’ll be bright bloody yellow in all of the photos. We’ll not be able to post any on our socials. Not one!’ Liam says forlornly. ‘What a waste of a trip.’
‘It was your idea to get the fake tan off TikTok,’ Ged reminds him. ‘You’re always clicking the “shop now” button. How many miracle foundation sticks does one person need? And it was your idea to rush into this trip in the first place.’
‘I’m impulsive. I’m spontaneous. I’m a risk-taker. That’s why this relationship works,’ Liam says, waving a hand around accusingly.
I feel Ged bristle in the seat next to me. ‘Meaning I’m the opposite?’
‘Yes,’ says Liam. ‘I’ve always been the fun one.’
It’s time to intervene. Liam and Ged have morphed into two full-on bridezillas and it is exhausting. I can’t take any more.
‘You’re both the fun ones. You’re both perfectly suited to one another because you’re so…’ I loosen my seat belt and lean out of my seat to face them. The three of us have lived together since the beginning of university. Their relationship could be myMastermindsubject. And luckily for me, I already have a speech prepared. It was meant to be for the first night in Vegas, when I plan to dedicate a special song to them while I’m on stage, but now seems like a good moment to do some of it. ‘You’re both so passionate and adventurous. You love music and creativity in all its forms. When one of you walks into a room, the other lights up. You share a blissful, harmonious and hopeful life together, always wanting the best for each other. I have never seen a couple more in love or more deserving of one another.’
While Liam bursts into noisy tears, the nearby cabin crew rush to comfort him. ‘What seems to be the problem, sir?’ one of them asks, bending down to his level.
‘I just love my… my… my fiancé so much!’ he wails. ‘And I’m just so… so… so happy.’ He flings his arms around Ged.
The glamorous flight attendant straightens up. He has a sympathetic smile on his face. ‘Is this your pre-moon?’
Both Liam and Ged nod vigorously. ‘Yes. Yes, it is our pre-moon. And yet some people are finding that term hard to get around. In fact, it’s been borderline divisive. No one has an issue with babymoon or minimoon.’
A bit unnecessary, I think.
The attendant acknowledges this complaint with pursed lips. ‘I had exactly the same problem for mine. Could I get them to stop calling it a stag do? No, I couldn’t.’ He winks at them both. ‘I’ll be right back.’ He turns to me. ‘Great speech, honey. Love is all about hope. Hoping for the best for each other.’
‘In fact, it is probably time we did a little toast to get this pre-moon off to a good start.’ I peer through the crack in the seats behind to see that the Dollz are still asleep. Sister Kevin is engrossed in watchingThe Meg 2, much to Tash’s displeasure. She had wanted to binge-watchMarried at First Sight Australiawith him. When he refused, she immediately went to sleep in a huff.
‘I’ll order some Prosecco,’ I say quietly. As chief bridesmaid-slash-best woman, it’s the least I can do. I’m also hoping the Prosecco still counts as our first free drink. My poor credit card can’t take much more of a battering after buying my Sinfonia costumes, booking the numerous trips in Vegas and the overweight luggage.
