My stomach sours at the memory of fingerprint bruises and Luca hiding his throat in shame—pulling my scarf tighter around him so no one could see, eyes low sohedidn’t have to see.
Jasper studies him for a second. “Arlo,” he says, eyes still on Luca. “Come and put your hands around my throat.”
Arlo takes a step forward, his dark hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, then reaches up to wrap both his small hands around Jasper’s throat like he’s choking him. Jasper sweeps his arms up through Arlo’s, making a big circle and breaking Arlo’s grip. Arlo gasps, probably as surprised as I am by how easy it was for him toget him off.
“Do you wanna try?” Jasper asks.
After a brief hesitation, Luca nods, then steps forward slowly until he’s directly in front of Jasper. I think Luca is expecting to be the one with his hands on Jasper’s throat. I know that’s what I’m expecting. So when Jasper brings his hands up lightning quick and wraps them around Luca’s throat, my breath gets caught in my throat.
I can tellimmediatelythat something isn’t right. Luca’s spine goes ramrod straight, his entire body tensing all at once.
Jasper doesn’t know Luca the way I do, though, so he doesn’t see it.
“Just do the same thing to me that I did to Arlo. Up and around.”
Luca doesn’t answer. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t breathe.
“Let him go,” I yell, rushing across the mat just as Jasper’s face twists in confusion and he drops his hands.
I grip Luca’s arm and spin him around.
His eyes are wide with terror, his mouth open in a soundless scream. There’s nothing there. He’s not here. He’s somewhere else. Stuck with Damien. Likely reliving the moment he thought he would die.
Fuck. Goddammit. “Luca, you’re safe.”
I bring my hand up to cup his face, to get his attention on me, and he flinches, whimpering low in his throat.
“Everyone out,” I snap. “Give us a second.”
From the corner of my eye, I see Jasper usher Arlo out of the room just as Luca takes his first breath—a wrecked, wheezing breath he has to fight hard to get in.
I reach for him again, and this time, he nearly falls over in his attempt to get away from me.
I take a step back, my heart shattering into tiny pieces.
Chapter 18
Austin
“Luca,hey,”Iwhisper.
Luca shakes his head violently as he wraps his arms around himself. Goddammit. I could kill Jasper right now. Only it’s not really his fault, and he had no idea Luca would react like this. I didn’t either, but still, why didn’t he think?
“You’re safe,” I say, stepping just a bit closer again. I’m careful not to move too quickly, careful not to come across as dangerous or large. I keep my arms loose at my sides, my hands relaxed and clearly visible. “It’s Austin, Luc.” His eyebrows draw together as his chest heaves with another ragged breath. “You’re safe. You’re with me. Can I touch you?”
A weak whimper echoes from his throat. His eyes are locked onmine, but I’m not convinced he realizes who I am. My chest aches, a hole opening up where my heart is, at all the pain and fear etched into Luca’s face, the despair and desolation pouring from his eyes and down his cheeks in rivulets.
I reach my hand out slowly, palm up, and though Luca flinches, his eyes fall to it, and he places a shaking hand in mine. “There you go. You’re doing so well. Can I pull you closer?”
For a long while, he doesn’t answer, and I just hold his trembling hand in mine, staring at him while he stares at the places our skin is touching. Finally, he nods. I let out a breath, using my grip on him to pull him forward. He collapses against my chest, and I drop my hand to wrap my arms around his back.
The shuddering breath he lets out is filled with grief and is quickly followed by a harsh sob that rips through my stomach. “Shh.” I press my lips to his hair, almost melting in relief when he wraps his arms tightly around my waist and presses his face to my chest. “You’re okay. I’ve got you, baby. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
I catch the slightest nod of his head against me. “Let me take you home?”
“Okay,” he croaks out.
Like last night, I lift him off his feet. Unlike last night, I don’t toss him over my shoulder. I hook an arm under his ass and wrap the other around his lower back. His legs surround my hips, and he hides his face in the crook of my neck, his arms woven tightly around my shoulders.
