Burt glances up at me, a grin stretching his lips. “They got you working here now?”
I laugh. “Had to do something. Austin was driving me crazy.”
“Sure,” Burt says, shaking his head a bit. “I’m gonna have a Diet Pepsi, please, and have Deb fix me up the special. Should be Beef Manhattan, yeah?”
I glance over my shoulder at the board. “Sure is. I’ll get that in for you and be right back with your drink.”
Being with someone who abused you for years tends to make youhyperaware of your surroundings, which is the only reason I can tell that Austin’s eyes follow me the entire time I’m walking to the kitchen.
When I round the corner, I can still feel the lingering weight of his gaze on me. Normally when I feel the weight of someone’s stare, it’s Damien’s, and even with just his eyes and not his words or fists, I can feel his disdain and contempt.
I guess some habits die hard, and my body hasn’t quite figured out that I’m safe now because even though I know Austin would never hurt me, feeling his eyes on me still sends a shiver down my spine and makes my hair stand on end.
I take my time putting in Burt’s order and getting his drink, and by the time I’m back in front of his table, I’ve decided that I do want to take Jasper up on his offer.
“Here you are.” I set the glass down, then drop a straw beside his cup with a smile. “Your food’ll be out in just a few.”
Burt grins at me. “You can take the boy out of the country, but not the country out of the boy, huh?” I quirk an eyebrow at him, confused. “Your accent’s comin’ back.”
Oh, well, that makes sense, I guess. My accent was never super strong, but for some reason Damien hated it. Never stopped telling me how uneducated it made me sound. I worked hard to get rid of it, and fear crackles down my spine at the thought of what he’ll do if he finds out all his hard work was for nothing.
No. No. Damien can’t hurt me because he isn’t here, and I can talk however I damn well please. Fuck him and his never-ending attempts to control me.
I force myself to shake off thoughts of Damien and give Burt another smile. “Maybe you’re right. I’ll get your food out to you as soon as it’s ready.”
Burt nods, so I take a step away from the table and go back to Austin’s. “I’ll do it. The self-defense stuff,” I say before Jasper even has a chance to look up. “But only if Arlo can too.”
Jasper’s brows furrow. “Arlo?”
I wave a hand behind me toward the kitchen. “Your server. Arlo. He wants to do it too.”
A lazy grin stretches Jasper’s lips. “He can join, sure. No problem at all.”
I glance at Austin to find him studying me. “You’ll be there too, right? I don’t want to do it without you.”
“If you want me there,” Austin says, nodding.
“I do. You work all the same shifts as Austin, right?” I ask, dragging my gaze from Austin to Jasper.
“Sure do.” Jasper raises an eyebrow. “You guys free this weekend? We can start on Saturday.”
I look at Austin because I don’t think we have anything going on Saturday, but like I said, he has to be there. Otherwise, I’m not going. He nods. “Yeah, should be fine. Make sure it works for Arlo.” There’s something about his voice that sounds a little off, but I try to overlook it.
Austin is a safe person for me, and I don’t know what I’ll do if that changes. He’s not Damien. The slightest change in tone doesn’t mean he’s going to hurt me. It’s okay. I repeat the words to myself over and over like a mantra, hoping that if I say them enough times, I’ll fully trust in them and my own judgement.
“You alright, Luc?” Austin’s soft voice pulls me out of my thoughts, and I blink at him. His eyes are narrowed in concern, his head tilted in question.
I clear my throat. “Yeah, better go check on Burt’s lunch. See you at home.”
After speeding away from the table and getting Burt’s lunch to him, I approach Arlo. “Hey, we’re gonna do self-defense on Saturday. Do you still wanna come?”
“Yeah,” he says, glancing at the empty table where Austin and Jasper were sitting. “Thank you.”
“Do you want us to come get you? I can give you my number, and you can text me your address.”
Arlo gives me a shy smile. “Sure.”
The rest of the workday goes well. I’m not used to being on my feet anymore, so by the time I get off and am driving home, they’re killing me, and so are my legs. I hope Austin isn’t busy because I plan to take full advantage of his bathtub.
