I am not using that.
Me
It’s okay. You can call me Daddy.
How do I unsend a text?
Seriously. Ignore the last two texts from me.
Possibly this entire exchange. I’ll have to scroll back to see where else I possibly forgot to filter my thoughts.
Jesus. Now I sound like I really DO want you to call me Daddy, but just didn’t want to say it out loud, but that’s not the case.
Sometimes my sense of humor skews a little offside.
I bet you don’t even know what offside means.
Have I been blocked?
Googling how to figure out if I’ve been blocked …
Well, shit. It says you’re reading the texts, so you haven’t blocked me. But I’m literally having a one-sided conversation here.
Audrey
I. AM. DYING.
Me
Literally or figuratively?
Audrey
Figuratively. I’m literally crying because I’m laughing so hard right now. That just made my entire day.
Me
Really? I would have thought the excellent kiss and amazing nap would score a little higher on the charts, Aud. I’m hurt.
Audrey
You’re right. It made my evening.
Believe it or not, I needed that. I had to euthanize a little girl’s dog today. I can typically hold it together, but when she cried, I cried. It’s not a good look to sob with a client while putting their dog down.
Me
Oh fuck. I’m sorry, Doc. What can I do to make you feel better?
Audrey
This conversation is helping immensely. Thank you.
Me
I’m glad.
Whenever I’m really sad, I put on my favorite movie.
