She slowly looks up at me and nods. Her face is red and blotchy, and her eyes are swollen. I remind myself that I am here to take care of her, hold her, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
“Your sister had a baby?”
“She did. I held Maya and sobbed. It was a precious moment as an uncle. Holding her brought up those memories that Ishoved deep down.” All the tears I’ve been holding back roll down my cheeks. I let them flow and let out the hurt, regret, and guilt as I focus on us.
With a nervous smile, she asks, “Do you travel back home often?”
“Since Maya was born, I travel back home way more often than I used to.” A genuine smile spreads across my face. “I adore her.”
She places her hand on my heart. “Does Eve know about the abortion?”
“Yeah, she was the only one I told. She told me to go find you last year. I almost did, but I ended up keeping myself busy with work. Maybe I was avoiding it. Why would you even want to talk to me after all this time? After everything I did to you? My mom and sister have been dropping hints about me moving back home. Now, with my niece growing up too fast and having this time with you, I know it’s the right time.”
I can’t help but think about that moment when Eve held my hand while I snuggled Maya…when she told me I haven’t been living. She said I’ve been going through the motions, being successful, but not living life the way I would if I had the love of my life by my side. She hit a nerve with that one. I knew she was right, but I didn’t have the balls to do anything about it.
Instead, to honor Faith and the baby, I went and had an outline of a baby footprint tattooed on my heart. It was a way to remember the loss and the birth of my niece, who was a gift to our family.
Taking my shirt off and letting it drop to the floor, I take Faith’s hand and place it on my heart. “You, the baby, our everything…this footprint is a reminder of all of it.”
She gets on her tiptoes and presses a long kiss to my heart. Her hands find their way behind my back as she holds me tight. With her head on my chest, I can feel her body moving in ajagged motion. Warm tears roll down my chest. The loss is heavy on my heart, and I can feel it’s heavy on hers, too. The quiet sobs give way to wanting to be closer to her. Our bodies just seem to crave each other. There’s more electricity between us than I’ve ever experienced. Our souls are connecting—intertwining—with each other. There’s no going back for me.
THIRTY-FOUR
JUDE
I want to savor her. I want to take away all the pain she has and fill it with my love. She is the most beautiful woman, and our connection is mind blowing. She swipes her tongue over my lips to nudge them open, and I follow her lead. My hands slide down to her back and onto her ass. That curvy ass of hers. My God. I grab it—hard.
“I’m glad you shared that with me,” she whispers into my mouth, and her hold on me tightens. She glides her hands up my back. The heat sears my skin as she drags her nails downward.
“I’m happy to share this moment with you.” Her hands continue to send electricity through my body with each touch. Blood rushes directly to my cock, making it hard and ready for her. I want to adjust myself, but I’m not breaking away from her. I know she feels it because she tilts her hips up and moans against my mouth.
That moan sends me over the edge. I’m making love to her tonight, and she will feel things that will be etched in her mind forever. Mind. Body. Soul. To prove my point, I lift her up by her ass. She wraps her legs around my waist, and I walk us over to the bed. I’m going to show her how much I truly love her…with my body.
The room is lit by a small lamp in the corner. It’s enough light to see her face. I want to see all of her when I make love to her tonight. I pull her face closer to mine to savor her scent. Vanilla mixes with her coconut shampoo and her arousal. It brings me back to the beach when we sat under the stars. She clings to me and starts biting my neck.
“Jude,” she murmurs. “I want you.”
That does me in. Her body hangs from mine as I carefully kneel on the bed. I place her down gently with my body hovering over hers. She slowly releases her legs from me. My body is over hers, and I slide my hand under her head. Then, gliding my thumb over her bottom lip, I watch as she closes her eyes and moans. More blood rushes to my cock, and I’m about to burst out of these pants.
“You can have all of me,” I say. Taking off her dress, I grab the hem and back away just enough to pull her up. I place the dress on the nearby chair and take my pants and underwear off, leaving them on the floor. She sits on the bed, staring at my cock. That encourages me to lower myself on her. I settle my lips on hers and grind in between her legs, which coaxes her to spread her legs wide.
“Then I want all of you.” Fuck, that’s hot. I reach down and slide her panties off. I lean back down and capture her lips with mine. The more I kiss her, the more she squirms under me. Kissing my way down to her tits, I skim over her pebbled nipples with my teeth and then bite down on them.
Her back arches off the bed and her tits beg to be touched. Kneading them with my hands, I pull one of her nipples to my mouth, sucking on it and flicking it with my tongue. The moaning spurs me on. I move to her other perky tit as I grind my erection over her hot pussy, knowing I’m hitting her clit when she grinds herself against me.
“Oh, Jude, now you’re teasing me.” She giggles.
I keep my hands on her tits as I trail kisses down to below her belly button. The tattoo on her hip catches my eye. I freeze when I read the words. My heart drops as I clench my teeth.
“Want to tell me about this?” I ask as my fingers trace the letters of the wordsRemembering Youwith a small heart—half blue and half pink.
She blows out a breath. “I got it freshman year after my counselor suggested I honor and pay tribute to the losses in my life…you and having the abortion.”
She swallows hard and covers her face. I wasn’t around to comfort her. It was a loss for me too, but she went through a lot more than I did. Her chin trembles, and tears are falling down her face. I lean up and over her body to kiss them away. I want to spend the rest of my life kissing all of her tears away. This is a moment I will never forget. The two of us share a deep loss and hold each other to heal the wounds left behind.
“I’m here for you, and I want to take away all your pain,” I say. Knowing I had a part in all of her pain makes me sick to my stomach, and my heart feels like a vise is squeezing it.
She wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me tight. “Don’t let go,” she says, sniffling. “It was so hard after having the abortion and you weren’t there. I was so mad at you for just leaving,” she says as she cries into my neck. Her tears wet my shoulder.
