What does our future hold?
There are many obstacles that I can’t seem to shake off. Being on the resort, we didn’t have to focus on them. We’re in paradise. Now that I’m leaving tomorrow, how in the hell is this supposed to work between us beyond this trip?
“Anything you want to share?”
“Eh, just a little sad the night is ending.” I can’t bring myself to jump into the conversation about the future. I want to enjoy our last night together.
His hooded eyes gaze at me. “It doesn’t have to end right now.”
Goosebumps erupt all over my body. When he notices, he runs his hands up and down my arms. Then, he dips down to the crook of my neck and kisses me with force, which only intensifiesthe throbbing between my legs. My panties are damp, and if he continues to touch me and look at me with those sensual eyes, I’m going to be soaked.
“I can walk you to your room once we dock,” he says.
“Yes, that would be great. Thank you.” If I only have one more night with him, I’m taking it. But the knot in my stomach is tightening, leading me to think I’m going to get hurt again.
My body has a mind of its own. I’m going to combust. There’s no way in hell I’m saying no. Another night with Jude beside meandinside of me sounds like the best way to end this night—this trip.
I can’t get enough of him.
How will this all work out?Ugh. I push my doubts down…deep down.
THIRTY-THREE
JUDE
As we walk back to her hotel room, she slides her arm around my back. That feelssoright. It was the best night. It was an experience to have Faith celebrating with my friends. I could tell they love her, and she fits right in. The pieces are falling into place, and I don’t want the night to end. Tomorrow, she leaves, and I’m not ready for that to happen.
I still have the other letter. Tonight, I’m giving it to her. This letter is a deep reflection, and I want to share it. I grab the door handle, open it up, and we walk in. “Okay that I stay?”
“Yes, of course.”
It wasn’t convincing. I wish I knew what she was thinking right now. She’s fidgeting with her hands, so I know something is up. I need to clear the air with her.
The magnetic pull is powerful, and it can’t be denied. Gathering up my courage, I take the letter out of my pocket. She sees what it is and stares at me as tears well up in her eyes. I’m not sure what she’s thinking, but I keep on. I move the letter from my hands and wrap her hands around it.
“I want everything on the table, Faith. This time with you has blown me away, and I can’t hold anything back.” My hand rubsthe back of my neck. I’m not sure how she will take the letter that’s in her hands. I wrote it about a year and a half ago.
Faith,
It’s been years since I saw you. Ten years since our lives changed forever. Maybe more so for you than for me. Well, let me start over…
Eve had a baby today. She named her Maya, and it brought up all the memories of us. One of the biggest regrets of my life? Not being there for you when you found out you were pregnant and had the abortion. I regret not being there for you, and the guilt has piled up. It was a terrible decision not to come back to you. I have no excuse. I was selfish. No one tells you how an abortion will affect you—not as a guy. I’m sure your experience was much different from mine. It was your body. I’m sorry you had to do that alone.
I cried while holding Maya. She is the most precious thing in the world. We gave that up. I know the decision was hard, but it doesn’t stop the hurt all these years later. I carry that guilt and regret for not being there with you; it feels like a bag of rocks. I don’t think I will ever fully heal from loving you. It’s a constant battle to not dwell on the past, but it always seems to come to the forefront when I least expect it.
If you were here with me right now, I’d hold you tight, apologize, and never let you go again. I’d spend the rest of my life making up for leaving you and making our life the most important thing I live for. I hope one day, I’ll be able to share all of this with you, and I also hope I’m not too late. I don’t know how, but I believe that miracles do happen.
You would love Maya too. One day, I hope life will come full circle for us. Until then, I hold you and our baby on my heart.
Loving You Always,
Jude
She folds the paper and puts it on the table. Never looking up, she walks over to me, grabs me, and pulls me into the tightest hug I’ve ever experienced. Her body is shaking. There’s no doubt she is crying. Emotions are very high right now—for both of us. We stand and hold each other, healing the wounds left in the wake from all those years ago.
I gather myself after a few minutes and ask, “Can I show you something?”
I’m hoping like hell she says yes.
