A chair scrapes against the floor, shattering the silence along with my fragile hope. My heart pounds as I look over and see Hayvin’s seat empty. Charlie tips her head toward the door, making anxiety surge through me, as I catch a glimpse of Hayvin slipping out. My throat tightens as panic and confusion collide.
Did I ruin everything?
I set the guitar down as gently as I can and hurry off the stage, desperate to reach her before she vanishes.
I have to know she’s okay.
Fuck. This was a bad idea.
I burst through the door, dread fueling my steps. Relief and fear crash together when I see her waiting there—as if she knew I’d come. My pulse hammers with hope and uncertainty.
Truth is, I’d chase this woman anywhere, as long as she’ll have me.
“Hayvin?”
She twirls around and marches up to me, tears pouring from her eyes and frustration flickering across her face. “Why now?” she asks, voice trembling. She pushes me—soft, not angry, but desperate for answers. “Why now?” .
Her voice splinters, cutting straight through me, and I can’t help but pull her into my arms.
She’s rigid at first, but then she softens, collapsing into me as her tears soak my shirt.
I rest my chin on top of her head and stare out into the night, my eyes blurry. "Because I’m an idiot who was terrified of you, terrified of love. I’m sorry, Hayvin. I wish I’d been a better man, one who loved you better. One who showed you, every day, how much you actually meant to me. I want to be that man for you now. I want to wake up with you every day, just so I can tell youhow much you mean to me. I want to hear you laugh at things I’ll never understand. I want to watch you show kindness to the world around you and be in the crowd, cheering you on when you win awards. I want to walk beside you proudly at any event. I want to celebrateyouwith you. These are things I should have already been doing, but I dropped the ball. I want to go to my grave loving you, Hayvin. I want to spend my whole life at your side. More than that, though, I want you to be happy. I hope it’s with me, and I’m willing to do whatever work is needed to make that happen. But if it’s not, I want you to know how much I truly appreciate you giving me the years you did. They’re years I’ll always cherish."
She leans her head away from my chest and peers up at me with bruised, watery eyes. “How do we get there, Alek? How do we go from here to there when I’m still so unsure?”
I cup her face in my hands, wiping at her wet cheeks with my thumbs. “One day at a time, baby girl.”
“One day at a time,” she whispers, unsure.
“Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour,” I murmur, staring into her beautiful face.
Two Soulmates
Hayvin
“Everleigh,”Icry,diggingthrough my closet frantically.
My closet overflows, yet nothing feels right to wear. I stand there, indecisive, drowning in fabric but starved for inspiration.
I snatch a dress from its hanger, give it a hopeful glance, then toss it aside to join the growing pile of rejects.
Why am I even stressing? It’s not technically a date with Alek. We’ve just been on these so-called ‘friend’ outings for months. Nothing official, nothing serious.
We’ve picnicked among wildflowers at the city’s edge, sipped coffee on park benches while people-watching, wandered the city streets lost in conversation.
We’ve never classified them as actual romantic dates, though.
Neither of us was ready to cross that line. A real date would mean opening the door to something more, and I’ve been teetering on the edge of wanting that.
Alek stayed true to his word. We’ve been taking it day by day, minute by minute. We’ve spent the time getting to know each other on a deeper level.
I thought I had Alek all figured out. But each day, he surprises me with something new. When he shared about his toxic, absent parents, so many pieces of his past finally clicked into place.
How do you learn to love when no one ever showed you how? If all you’ve known is betrayal, abuse, neglect, it’s no wonder love feels like a loaded word.
I still blame him for how he acted during our three years together. No one is ever responsible for another person’s actions. There can always be catalysts—things that lead up to the way we act. But only one person controls what you do, what you say, and how you act.
Yourself.
