Love?
Loved?
Damn. I can’t decide if love belongs in the past or present tense. My feelings didn’t vanish after his betrayal, no matter how much I wished they would. Some people can just walk away, but I’m not built like that. I fight until there’s nothing left in me. Maybe I’m wired differently, because what stings me barely grazes others, and what rattles them barely touches me.
Alek’s friendship with Jerica has always been a thorn between us, even though they never crossed that line. Charlie, on the other hand, never bothered me. Not after the first shock wore off.
People have pasts. Feelings change, attraction fades, friendships remain, and life moves on. I’ve never found anything strange about that.
Everleigh once asked if I was truly okay with Alek’s friendship with Charlie. The question blindsided me because I couldn’t fathom why she’d even wonder.
“I know you said you were okay with it, Vinnie, but I need to know if you really are or if you’re just saying that because you care so much about Alek and think this is the only way you get him.”
Even though she meant well, her words stung and irritated me. I paused, searching for the right way to make her see my side.
“Why wouldn’t I be, Ever?”
“Um…because he had a friends-with-benefits thing going with her.”
“Okay, and? Ever, that was before me and him. He has a past. So do I. Shoot, I still talk to your brother, and we were actually serious about each other for a long time. Everyone has a past, but who am I to hold it against him? It wouldn’t be fair. Charlie doesn’t make me uncomfortable. She doesn’t react to Alek with anything other than friendly affection, nor does he. If he hadn’t told me about their history, I’d have never known it because there is no sign of anything more between them. Charlie is crazy about Keaton. Alek and Charlie never cross lines, hang out without me or Keaton, or talk on the phone without telling either of us. When it comes to that friendship, Alek and Charlie always make sure Keaton and me come first. They’ve never once disrespected us with their friendship, and I have this gutfeeling they never will. I have issues with his friendship with Jerica. The one he hasn’t slept with.”
“They fucked, Hayvin.”
“I know that, Everleigh. What’s your point?”
“You don’t believe they ever think about it?”
“You’ve been around them enough. What do you think?”
By then, my patience was fraying. She was really getting under my skin. My question made her stop and think about all the times we’d hung out with Charlie and Keaton. Her answer was exactly what I’d known from the start, the first time I saw Alek and Charlie together.
“I don’t think they do.”
She answered, albeit reluctantly, but I knew I’d made my point. Everleigh never mentioned it again, trusting I’d speak up if anything ever bothered me.
“Just because someone slept with another person doesn’t mean there was anything more to it than that, Ever. You know that more than anyone. I don’t think about the time I spent with Titan—not anymore. Those feelings faded a long time ago. Why can’t it be the same for Charlie and Alek?”
That was the end of it. I’ll never get why people expect us all to react the same way, or why they assume what unsettles them must unsettle everyone.
If it were our purpose to all be the same, then we would be.
With a sigh, I let the thoughts drift from my mind and pull the envelope towards me.
I slide a nail beneath the wax seal, lift the flap, and draw out the thick, embossed cream card inside.
Dear Ms. Hayvin Dickinson,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been nominated as Songwriter of the Year for your work on Not Your Just Because.
I blink at the words, then read them again, just to be sure, before tossing the card back onto the counter.
My fingers curl around the counter’s edge as I stare, unmoving.
The longer I watch, as if the words will disappear, the more excitement fills me.
Tears prick my eyes, and a squeal bursts out. I do a quick, clumsy dance before snatching up the invitation again, letting my eyes drink in the words one more time.
Songwriter of the Year.
