Probably fucking Jerica, exclaiming how she's sooo happy that he's coming to help her move.
"David's almost here," he tells me, shoving his phone in his pocket and stopping in front of me. "We will talk when I get back home." He leans in to kiss me, but I turn my head. There's no way I can stomach it, knowing that he's going to her after leaving here.
With a sigh, he grasps my chin, holding me in place, and stares down at me. "You're killing me, baby girl."
"Then it looks like we're both dying, Hot Shot," I reply in a monotone, pulling away from him. I grab his bag and hand it to him. "You'd better go on. Wouldn't want you to miss this special reunion, now would we?"
He sighs, ignoring me, grabs the duffel, and heads into the living room, knowing I'll follow. "I'll call when we get there," he says, moving toward the door.
"Alek," I call out, my voice breaking. He turns to me, and I do pretty well at pretending I don't see the hope in his eyes. "If I asked you to stay here, would you do it? Would you stay with me? Because we are not okay, Alek. We are so far from it. So, tell me. If I asked you to stay, would you do it?"
I can see the struggle in his eyes, and I know the answer before he even opens his mouth. "That's not fair, Hayvin. David is my best friend," he replies gruffly.
I shake my head and smile sadly. "Yeah, but it's not David you're seeing, is it?" A horn blares outside. "Your ride is here." I take several seconds to memorize the face I've fallen for. "Have a safe trip. Goodbye, Alek."
He’s so distracted by David that he misses the meaning in my words.
"We'll talk when I get back, baby girl," he says before pulling the door shut behind him.
As soon as he's gone, I grab my phone and call Everleigh, my best friend, and I fill her in on what happened and what I need from her. Like I knew she would, she reassures me she'll be here shortly, and I pack as soon as we hang up.
I'm on autopilot, forcing myself not to think. If I let myself dwell on it, I'll end up curled up in a ball when she arrives, unable to leave. I have to be out before Alek comes home.
Clothes. Bag. Zip.
Shoes. Bag. Zip.
Makeup. Bag. Zip.
I keep packing until the bed is stacked with every bag I brought six months ago. Only as I zip the last one do I look around at what my life has become.
A bunch of packed bags on a bed that I used to share with a man who's in love with someone else.
The thought, for some reason, makes me laugh.
And laugh.
And laugh.
Until those laughs crack apart, turning into sobs that fold me inwards. I can barely breathe through the ache.
Then Ever's arms wrap around me, and my best friend holds me together while I break apart. When my shaking stops, she pulls away and peers down at me. "What do you need?"
"Out of here."
"Then let's blow this joint, toots."
On the way to Everleigh's, I text Charlie to let her know what's going on, but I ask her not to mention anything to him until he gets back. The only thing I want is to make a clean break. I deserve that much after being strung along for three freaking years. When she agrees, I finally relax and rest my head against the window, watching the scenery roll past.
I wish I could say that if I'd known this would be my ending when I met Alek, I would have walked away. It'd be nice to think I was strong enough to do that then. Truth is, I was so infatuated from the start that I overlooked anything that might ruin our life together. I know that puts blame on me for something that's not really my fault. Sure, I could have opened my eyes more, but Alek never treated me differently unless Jerica was there. That's hard to judge when we only saw her twice in three years.
Blowing hot air against the window, I draw a broken heart and then erase it.
But now, I’ve found the courage to put myself first, which is what I should have done all along. If he can’t love me, then I’ll love myself with the same fierce devotion.
Check Your Feelings
Alek
