Nearly two years have passed since she last saw him, and I know she misses him fiercely. I'm genuinely happy for her, but I can't quite read the look she's giving me right now.
"Yeah. It's going to be nice. The phone calls are great, but I'd give up anything to see my brother in person. He called yesterday and told me he finally got some leave." She smiles slyly. "He asked about you."
I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Absolutely not, Ev. Don't even go there. The last thing I want is another man in my orbit. Just because Alek's gone doesn't mean I'm suddenly available. I need to figure out who I am now, because I thought my life was already mapped out."
"But just think of what it would be like for Alek. Seeing you with someone that he knows played such a big part in your life. The sad part is, he wouldn't even be feeling an ounce of the pain you've had to deal with over the last three years."
I sigh, exhausted. "That's high school drama, Ever. I'm way too old for that. Why bother with someone who clearly doesn't care? It's pointless, and you know that's not me."
"Yeah, I know. The thought was nice, but I knew you wouldn't go for it before I even said anything." She sits up, finishes the chip that is in her hand, and then points to me. "This is what we're going to do. You get tonight to feel whatever you need to feel about the cuntmaggedon there, but then you're locking that shit down in the way you've always done when someone's hurt you. You good with that plan?"
Not having to feel anything for Alek? "Absofuckinglutely," I reply.
"Good. Now, shut up. Mope in silence, bitch, so I can watch this and daydream about being the cream in a Klaus and Elijah sandwich."
I grab a throw pillow and whack her right in the face, making her spill water everywhere. "Hands off my men."
"Sharing is caring, babe," she says with a cheeky little wink before shaking her head and sending water spraying everywhere.
Moments like this remind me just how lost I'd be without Everleigh. She's been my best friend for as long as I can remember, sticking by me through everything. I really did hit the jackpot with her.
"Hey, Ev," I call.
She drags her gaze away from the television and peers over at me.
"I love you."
Everleigh's bright sea-foam colored eyes soften, and the corners of her lips curl up. "Love you too, Vinnie."
Losing Alek shattered a piece of me. I know healing will take time, but deep down, I know I'll be okay.
Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Maybe not for months. But someday, I'll wake up and the ache will be gone. I won't long for his arms or the roughness in his morning voice. My heart will stop calling for him, and my soul will finally be free.
In the meantime, Everleigh keeps me anchored in the present, holding me steady when all I want is to drift away to a future without pain.
An Empty Home and an Empty Heart
Alek
HowdoIevenbegin to make up for being a total asshole and leaving the woman I love alone when she needed me most? Do I show up with flowers? Chocolate? Or just drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness?
I have no idea what I’m doing, and honestly, this is exactly why I’ve always avoided relationships. All I know is Hayvin is furious. She hasn’t answered a single call or text, which isn’t like her at all. I fucked up badly, and all day I’ve been desperate to get home and make things right.
This morning, David tossed me the keys and told me to get my ass home to Hayvin after I lost it, realizing she’d actually blocked me. He said Jerica would drop him off to get his truck, and they’d deal with her stuff, maybe put it in storage. Honestly, I couldn’t care less if they left it on the side of the road. Her things are the last thing on my mind right now.
I’m running on fumes, and yeah, it’d be smart to pull over and catch some sleep, but there’s no way I’m stopping until I’m back with Hayvin.
How did I let things get this bad? How did it come to Hayvin doubting her place in my life? I never wanted her to feel that way. Her words have been echoing in my head nonstop, tangled up with David’s, as I try to make sense of it all. They both think I have feelings for Jerica, but they’re dead wrong. That ship sailed ages ago—if it ever even existed. Jerica was just the one thing I couldn’t have, the forbidden fruit.
My mind drifts back again to the weekend before my first date with Charlie, before she and Keaton patched things up after his cheating. I’d gone to a business conference with David and Jerica. Char kept pushing me to figure out whether I had feelings for Jerica, so, to be fair to everyone, I promised I’d find out if Jerica was single when we went. By some twist of fate, Jerica and Reggie were on one of their usual breaks that weekend. I figured if I was ever going to test the waters, this was it. I flirted a bit, and to my surprise, she flirted back, but the spark just wasn’t there. Still, determined to settle it once and for all, I told her on our last night that maybe we could be something more. My words came out flat, empty, because I didn’t really feel it. I just thought I should, since Charlie was convinced I had feelings for Jerica. Jerica looked at me like I was some lost puppy, which pissed me off. She hugged me and said she was flattered, but only loved Reggie and saw me as a brother. Relief washed over me, mixed with a sting of rejection, because who actually likes being turned down?
And that was it. I didn’t come home tangled in a relationship I never really wanted. I came back with my friendships with David and Jerica still solid.
What got into Jerica these past few days? What made her think it was okay to kiss me? Sure, she wanted to get underReggie’s skin, make him think we were together or something. But seriously, what the hell?
The whole thing is fucking maddening. I should have called her out, told her how messed up it was, but all I wanted was to get away. The longer I stayed near her, the heavier that lead weight in my gut grew.
With a yawn, I flip on the turn signal for the road leading to my place and wait for oncoming traffic to clear before turning.
