Kayla and I dissolve into laughter, giggling until tears stream down our faces.
“Tell us how you really feel,” I quip.
Amelia laughs, and though there’s a shadow of sadness in her voice, it’s the purest sound I’ve heard from her since she left the hospital.
“So, does this mean you’re going to go out on a date with Kea?” Amelia sobers, clearly trying to take the focus off her.
“As friends,” I insist, a giddy thrill bubbling up at the idea.
“You know your limits now, Char. You’ve learned where your boundaries need to be, and you’ve come to terms with who the fuck Charlie Henderson is without Keaton Carr. You know what you deserve, and you know how to demand it. So, go forth, our best bitch, and show that man what he’s been missing out on,” Amelia orders.
After we get off the phone, I text Keaton back before I lose my nerve.
ME
What if I’m not ready for more than friendship?
His response comes only seconds later.
KEATON
I’ll take whatever you’re comfortable w/giving.
ME
I don’t want to give you hope that there will ever be anything more. For now, I’d like to be friends and get to know you more. How about a coffee date? In public?
KEATON
Yes.
My heart flutters, picking up on the eagerness packed into that single word.
We pick a date and time to meet at the new coffee shop, a few blocks from Grinders. For the first time in nearly two years, hope stirs in me. It feels like I’m finally moving in the right direction.
I have no idea where my future is headed or who will be part of it, but it’s brighter than it was over a year ago, and for the first time, I’m genuinely excited.
Baby Steps
Charlie
Itfeelslikeaquiet victory to wake up and realize Keaton’s betrayal no longer claims the first moments of my day.
There’s a deep, unexpected peace in that simple change.
At first, I couldn’t imagine ever reaching this place. I thought every morning would greet me with the sting of betrayal, and every night would end with its shadow. But now, it no longer bookends my days.
Those memories are etched into me, impossible to erase without losing myself entirely. But over the past six months, I’ve learned how to call the shots on when they surface, which makes them easier to bear.
Now, I can breathe in the morning air without every inhale feeling like a fresh wound to my heart.
Of course, those memories still sneak up on me sometimes, but not as often as before. That feels like real progress.
Last night, I reached out to my support forum, asking others who have walked this path for advice. Admitting to myself that Imight be ready to take a step forward with Keaton took courage, but I wanted to know if it was too soon.
They reassured me that if I feel I’m ready, then I am. I’m the only one who is going to know that. They reminded me that healing isn’t linear and people heal at their own pace. Some heal quickly, while others take years to heal from their trauma. I shouldn’t be ashamed if I’m healing at a different speed from someone else.
My therapist echoed those words, and now I feel more at ease about taking small, tentative steps toward something new with Keaton.
