Lucas’s expression gives nothing away. It’s as if I’ve just told him I hate carrots.
‘I know I shouldn’t have, but the thing is, it happened in his car, I was really upset and Ward…’
Lucas stops me. ‘Spare me the detail, Jan, I’m not about to judge. I’ve slept with a married woman.’
Again he says it as if he’s just told me he hates carrots. I frown. Maybe this was a bad idea. ‘So, that makes it OK for me, then?’
‘I’m not proud of it, but I let it carry on because the arrangement suited us. Her husband was always away on business and I wasn’t up for a committed relationship. No one was getting hurt.’
‘Except the husband, maybe?’
‘He didn’t know.’ Lucas shrugs as if it’s no big deal.
‘That’s not the point! Didn’t you feel guilty?’
‘No. Well maybe,’ he admits, ‘a little.’
‘When did it end?’
‘The moment I realisedI, well, I had feelings for her. It started off as fun, but I fell—’
‘You fell in love?’
‘Don’t sound so shocked.’
My heart softens when Lucas shows any vulnerability. ‘So, you never saw her again?’
He shakes his head.
‘I’m sorry, Lucas.’
‘My fault.’
‘So, do you want to meet someone?’ I ask, hopefully. Granny and I used to talk about Lucas, Granny claiming that the right woman could be the making of him. ‘She’d have to be a strong character, mind,’ Granny would add, ‘to put up with his moods.’
‘Maybe.’ He changes the subject with, ‘Enough about me. Do you like this Ward?’
‘I wish I didn’t.’
‘Don’t start something you can’t finish. Stay well clear.’
‘I am. I’m avoiding his texts, I’m doing everything in my power not to be on my own with him, but it’s not easy, not when I’m his PA.’
‘Get another job then.’
‘I can’t, I mean I don’t want to. I enjoy my work. Anyway, why should I? I’m not the one who’s married.’
‘Fine. Date someone else.’ Lucas makes it sound so simple.
‘Got any decent men up your sleeve?’
‘In fact, I have. Ralph. Works with me. Good mate. I’ll set you up. In fact, I think you could be a pretty good match,’ he decides as our food arrives, and I don’t protest. Perhaps Lucas is on to something. The only way to stop thinking about Ward is to meet someone else.
The following Thursday morning Graham, Lucie and I sit in the boardroom waiting for Ward, who is surprisingly late. ‘Do you think Jim might pop the question this weekend, Luce?’ Graham asks. Lucie and her boyfriend are spending the weekend with her parents to celebrate their ruby wedding anniversary.
‘Doubt it. He wouldn’t want to overshadow them.’
‘Another excuse.’ Graham rolls his eyes.
