He apologises to Lauren for his temper, saying he’s knackered and cross because Angus came home late last night, drunk, again, waking up his family. Scottie has two boys, aged ten and six.
‘How come he’s staying with you, Scottie?’ I ask, as Nina comes into the kitchen.
‘He’s going through a rough patch,’ she tells me. ‘He’ll work things out.’
‘Really?’ Scottie sounds dubious. ‘Not sure how hard he’s trying to save his marriage when he’s down the pub every night.’
‘Give him a break, Scott,’ Nina says, leaving.
‘A break? I’m giving him food and fucking shelter. Sorry Lauren.’ She doesn’t flinch. He turns to me. ‘I’m trying. I know I get ratty, to put it mildly, Holly, but having him to stay isn’t exactly helping my marriage either. I don’t call six weeks temporary and I can’t see him ever getting another job or moving on. I know he’s been through a lot, but at some point you’ve got to start helping yourself, because no one else can do it for you.’ Scottie looks at me beseechingly. ‘You couldn’t talk to him, could you? Find out if he even wants to get back with Sophie?’
‘I’m not sure—’
‘Please,’ Scottie begs, and just as I saw a flash of vulnerability in Angus’s eyes, I see it in Scottie’s too.
I find Angus outside, sitting on the wall, smoking. ‘How’s Lauren?’ he asks, staring ahead.
‘She’s fine. I left her with Scottie.’
‘Poor girl.’
‘How areyou?’ I sit down next to him.
Angus turns to me, curious.
I come clean. ‘Scottie asked me to check up on you.’
‘He’s right to get angry. I wouldn’t want to live with me right now.’
‘What happened? Do you want to talk about it?’
‘My wife and I, we’re having a trial separation but I have no idea how long the trial is for. It could be forever.’ He runs a hand through his hair. ‘I’m a mess, Holly.’
‘Oh Angus. If you need someone to talk to—’
‘How’s Lauren?’ he asks again, to deflect the attention away from himself.
It doesn’t work. ‘Nice try.’
He raises an eyebrow.
‘Lauren’s fine, it’s you I’m worried about right now.’
‘Nina tells me I’m good with people.’
‘You are.’
‘I’m out of my depth. I used to work in finance for God’s sake. I work with numbers, not people.’
‘I work in PR. I’m not doing any better.’
Angus scratches his head. ‘The moment I touched her… I managed to scare the hell out of her, didn’t I? I reckon she’s been hurt, really hurt.’ He looks at me with fear in his eyes. He longs for reassurance that I can’t give. He’s right. I sense Lauren is terrified of other human beings. Even Angus and me.
‘What shall we do?’ he asks.
‘Maybe we don’tdoanything,’ I say, thinking of how friends always felt they needed to do something for me after Jamie died, when in fact all I wanted was for them to be with me. I can remember saying this to my therapist at the time, wishing people could act normal around me, whatever normal is. ‘Maybe we don’t try as hard,’ I suggest.
‘She doesn’t want to be here.’ Angus stares into the distance again.
